Short jokes
Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.
You pooooooooooooooooooooooo!
What's the difference between a low tide and your hairline?
Nothing, they're both receding.
When God make white people he said, "FUCK I'M OUT OF PAINT!"
What do you call a person who measures air? Airometer.
What is the difference between Obama and Osama?
Osama didn't kill innocent civilians with missile strikes.
You're so skinny, you can barely fit through a door crack.
Bro, you look like you got your hair from the Roblox avatar shop.
Did I tell you I finally got my wife to scream during sex? Yeah, you should have heard her the other day when I walked in on her.
Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.
I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.
Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"
Hey kids, guess who started a micronation?
It’s Barney and Trump. They don’t let gays in, but they kill them.
Should I slap Flynn's ass?
Did you hear about the new drink commemorating Princess Diana?
It had nine shots and seven chasers!
Did you all hear about the newest gay celebrity couple? Yeah, John Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzjohn.
What is red and puts out fire?
Suck on my big fat ding dong, you idiot!
You know I wish life was shorter?
I want it over.
Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?
Because they took a day off.
The fool says in his brain, "There is a god."