Short jokes
I told my wife I needed a blood transfusion when I could not remember. She said, "Be positive too."
Bad, I am now a ghost writing this.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to read?
50 Cents of Gray.
How does a rapper make a burrito?
With WRAPPING paper, DUUUHHHHHH!
Why did the rapper go to school?
To get his degree in FLOW-NOMICS.
How does a rapper start his day?
With a MIC check!
What's a rapper's favorite type of fruit?
RHY-MANGO!
Why did the rapper get lost in the music?
Because he couldn't find the beat.
How do you know if a rapper's broke?
When he starts dropping cents instead of bars.
What's a rapper's favorite insect?
Rhy-mosquito.
Why was the rapper always calm?
Because he had FLOW-ZEN.
Why did the rapper become an electrician?
Because he wanted to SHOCK the audience with his RHYMES.
How do rappers stay organized?
They keep their rap sheets in order.
Why did the rapper bring a suitcase to the studio?
Because he was packing his rhyme books!
I still to this day remember my grandpa's last words.
"I'M ALLERGIC TO FUCKING CATS!"
Hey mylady.
Hey bro.
Me mylady.
Me a bro.
What atom presents TV shows?
David Atombrough.
Me: Hi Kallen.
Kallen: Hi.
Me: You're too big to fit in my car.
What did the parrot say when it saw a duck?
"Polly want a quacker!"
Worst joke ever.
Ahhhhhhh!
Sisters before misters.
I hope you get better.
I love you.