Short jokes
What do you call a closet with two lesbians inside?
A liquor cabinet.
What do you call a fight at a dementia unit?
A Sundown Smackdown.
What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?
Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!
Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?
A. A loaded potato.
Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.
That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.
If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.
They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.
Guys, you need to ketchup with the time.
1273 please kill me, everyone hates me.
I have a paso.
There's nothing stronger than love, except for an M32 Rotary Grenade Launcher because fuck you and everyone near you.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?
The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.
Why do apple trees like emo kids?
Because they like to play yoyo with them.
I was falling down the stairs at my local clock tower.
I somehow broke more than 206. I broke 342!
I can make a living with the "Treat Yo self" budget.
Yet I can’t use the "Help yo self" budget.
How I talk: Hello
How Stitch talks: HeLlO.
Yesterday, I was on a reality TV show where they locked me up with all those smelly monkeys from the Leger Zoo. It was complete madness.
One time, I worked at 3 jobs at the same time and my boss said it was illegal.
It got too out of hand and I got spanked.
One time, I was making a caramel apple.
When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel!
Damn, the guy who made the "Whip/Nae Nae" song really made his cousin go Silento.
Anonymous: This guy reads everyone's jokes, but why doesn't he answer his mom?