Short jokes

Short jokes

Movie

Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?

Neither does he.

Fortnite

I love Fortnite because I touched grass for the first time and also I love Chung Lei.

Fat

You're so fat when you walk into the mall, you *are* the mall.

Chin

Peter Griffin's chin.

Should I mention how much it looks like a penis?

Penis

Apparently, rich people have the smallest penises. It makes sense why Bill Gates called it "MicroSoft."

Bike

Once I was riding my bike and saw a $5. I jumped off and died.

Osama

Osama be like: "Fuck boys, runway is full, better use this tower!"

Melania Trump

Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In Freezer"?

Answer: Because it's where EVERYONE GOES to "Hang Their Meat!"

Citizen

If being sexy was a crime, you can call me......... a law-abiding citizen.

Terrorist

What's brown and white with red all over?

Terrorists when they went into the Twin Towers.

Fork

What did the fork say to the spoon?

Nothing, forks don’t speak, silly!

Candice

SMG4 Mario be like in Ohio: I don’t wanna do this...

Candice everyone: Candice?

Mario: CAN DEEZ NUTS FIT IN YOUR MOUTH!

Girlfriend

I took my girlfriend to the beach and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale!

Noose

An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.