Short jokes
Orphan: I want to be a relator.
Teacher: Why?
Orphan: Because I never had one in my childhood.
"Where ya going?"
"When I die, hell, but right now, my room."
I was looking for my sister... I looked down at my feet and saw her.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the moovies.
Aliana is so fat, she can't fit through a hula hoop.
How do you spot an English man in Quebec?
A square head.
I am looking for Mike Roch.
Hey dad, I'm hungry!
Hi hungry, I'm dad. Why did you name me this way, why why why?
I like tortles.
I'm a teacher at a high school, but I got fired. They told me I didn't do any work even though I always did a skele-ton.
What did Onett and Threed reply to their child?
"I love you Twoson."
What do you call someone who kisses primary school kids?
Joshua Metcalfe
I remember my grandma's last words:
"What are you doing with that axe?"
If Stephen Hawking was walking, they would have a hawk problem.
Me: Knock knock.
Some dude on the street: Who's there?
Me: Whowhowho.
Dude: Whowhowho who?
Whowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowho.
What? A telephone? Nah, I'm using a telebone.
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it.
Redmi
Spinach
Farmer: Phew! I got all the eggs from the chickens!
Farmer #2: EGGcellent!