Short jokes
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my coworkers found gold. I said, "AU, bring that over here!"
What's the difference between a feminist and Kim Jong Un?
Kim Jong Un has rights.
"Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death"?
Maybe in infidel America but.... it is #1 in the Glorious Iran.
🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷
Your hairline and my grandpa go way back.
If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
Euro-peein'.
Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?
When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.
In America, planes hit the Twin Towers. In Soviet Russia, Twin Towers hit planes.
Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"
I'm so gay I could barely think straight.
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.
Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?
She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.
What is a terrorist's DJ name?
Osama Spin Laden.
Dropping beats like the Twin Towers.
For sale: Dead canary.
Not going cheep.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
Q: What’s a koala's favorite drink?
A: Coca Koala.
Where do you buy a dishwasher?
Hot singles in your area.
Ever wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?
They made the toys.
What type of people think rape jokes are funny?
Only the coolest people in the world! I fucking love you guys 😂
I hooked up with the groom at my uncle's wedding.