Short jokes
What is a cowboy’s favorite tree?
A horse chestnut tree.
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous, aka cashews.
A computer usually has a HARD drive. LESSON. No wonder they remember things.
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
Hey Aria.
Please stop hurting people's feelings, or they'll hang around the house.
The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tying them up.
I said I ate an apple because I was hungry.
Why did Elsa let go of the balloon?
Car show: "Let It Go," get it?
Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?
Random guy: Why?
Me: Because you look like a whale.
You are so ugly Santa goes "ho ho ho holy sh*t."
What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?
They always line up.
If I were a judge and gave you a sentence, I would sentence you to life for your looks.
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times? A Brazil nut.
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io!
Bruh, Travis Scott went from Astroworld festival to after world festival.
What’s a green cucumber?
A carrot.
I will remember my brother's last words: if you can't put a fork in a toaster, how about a spoon?