Short jokes
Me: And this is the room I cry in.
Date: You've said that about every room.
Me: Correct!
I'm great!! I'm good. I'm doing good hahaha. I mean "well" haha! Haha I'm doing well, not good! Haha I'm not doing good! I'm not doing so good.
After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,
Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"
Me: "WYD?"
Her: "Just dealing with a lot: depression, anxiety, and the feeling that I'll never be enough."
Me: "Without me? Lol"
I got sent to the principal's office for giving an orphan kid a family-size pack.
"My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104."
Ur mom is so fat that when she came to the front door, she was already at the back door.
What do you call an Indian? Indiana Jones.
Why can't my grandma talk?
Because she's dead.
Top five places to find your dad's orphans is Milk Island.
I bet Kobe failed flying school.
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? The front desk always asks, “Where are your parents?”
Do you know Ligma... potatoes?
Do you know Ligma?
Have fun rubbing those balls in your tomatoes!
Never talk about 9/11 to me. I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot ;(
Why did Queen Elizabeth II die? She forgot to heal after all those storms.
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers?
They can go through 100 floors in 7 seconds.
They made a movie about 9/11.
It was a big hit.
Who left him hanging?
How does a disabled person play chess?
I think you forgot they don't have legs.