Short jokes
The best thing about an orphan? They don’t have to suffer from "your mama" jokes.
Why is Santa so happy? He knows where all the naughty girls and ho ho hos live.
Yo mama so fat, she called Dr. Seuss and he couldn’t even rhyme back.
What is a cowboy’s favorite tree?
A horse chestnut tree.
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous, aka cashews.
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
A computer usually has a HARD drive. LESSON. No wonder they remember things.
On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times? A Brazil nut.
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io!
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
"Float like a butternut, sting like a bee."
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."
My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!
Hey Aria.
Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.
As a kid, I used to eat a sour herb from a certain spot near a rock.
Now I pee on it, just following the ritual of Africa.
Please stop hurting people's feelings, or they'll hang around the house.
The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tying them up.
The Pope drives around in a glass box, or as I like to call him, a sniper's dream.