Navy

Navy Jokes

Stereotype

I just found out that there is a racist stereotype about Asians being bad drivers, which isn't true... but if it is, then maybe Pearl Harbor was just an accident.

Bar Code

Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?

A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!

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  • Norway

    Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?

    So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

    Memes

    Class

    I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes

    A yellow minion with one eye and blue overalls stands on the left. To the right, there is a text that begins: "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals..." and continues with a long, aggressive monologue.

    Warship

    Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?

    So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

    Lighthouse

    The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:

    "Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."

    The commander starts answering:

    "No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"

    "Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"

    "Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"

    After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:

    "In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"

    Friend

    My Japanese friend told me a Pearl Harbor joke. I told him he bombed it.

    Color

    Girls: OMG what color should I use, baby blue, light blue, or navy blue?

    Boys: blue is blue.

    Whale

    So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.

    The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"

    Prank

    As the Navy SEALs burst into Osama Bin Laden's room in his Pakistani compound, his last dying words forever rang in the ears of the SEALs...

    "It was just a prank bro."

    Gonorrhea

    Walked into a bar the other day and a group of sailors were being loud and shouting about all the women they have in port that had given them gonorrhea...

    Bloody seamen.

    Bin Laden

    After 6 months of lockdown,

    I was thinking a bit about Bin Laden. He stayed at home with 3 wives for 5 years. I'm beginning to suspect he called the Navy Seals himself.

    Submarine

    What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?

    They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.

    Pirate

    What's a pirate's favorite letter? You'd think it's the "R," but it's really the "C."