Short jokes

Short jokes

Rose

Roses are red, violets are blue, The children are fast, But Elmo is faster, Bow down to your master!

Assassination

What do I think about the Kennedy assassination?

First of all, he should have had a roof on that car.

Face

I hate two-faced people because I don’t know which face to slap first. :)

Sister

My dad tells me and my sister to stop arguing, so she elbowed me in my damn nose.

Wheelchair

There’s this girl who gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.

Why don’t she stand up for herself?

Toaster

I will remember my brother's last words: if you can't put a fork in a toaster, how about a spoon?

Villain

Don't y'all just hate when something funny to you happens and then you just have to be quiet so you don't look like a villain?

Cocomelon

"CoComelon meme,

No matter how fast I run, I can't escape my problems - OULEH...

Nobody loves me .v."

Period

Period: Guess who’s back... back again...

Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?

Period: I can come back in 9 months?

Me: Keep fucking singing.

Kid

Bob, why are you kicking the kids?

What, it's not like they have a home to go to.

Funeral

Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.

Oyster

What's the definition of disgusting?

Sticking 5 oysters up your grandmother and sucking 6 out!