Short jokes

What’s an abbreviation for school in America?

Shooting range.

Jokes just as dead as the victims.

A guy finds a genie.

He says, "I wish I was better at talking to women."

"Poof!" the genie says, "You're gay!"

Why is a white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?

The white guy actually did it.

Why do you call a man that is physically handicapped and German?

A physically handicapped bisexual man that is promiscuous and German.

What do you call an Indian gymnast? Balance Singh.

Boy: "My girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her..."

Off the nearby cliff.

I walked into the doctor's surgery and he said to me, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." I said, "Capricorn." He said, "Nah, you got cancer."

Why don't midgets use tampons?

Answer: They are always tripping over the string.

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

The wheelchair. 😎

What animal should wear a wig?

A bald eagle!

So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my coworkers found gold. I said, "AU, bring that over here!"

I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.

What's the difference between a feminist and Kim Jong Un?

Kim Jong Un has rights.

Q: Why did the chef get fired?

A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!

Your hairline and my grandpa go way back.

If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?

Euro-peein'.

Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?

When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.

Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"

What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.

What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.