Short jokes
The British equivalent to 9/11 would be a big red bus crashing into Big Ben.
I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.
He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.
Why can’t the employee tell dirty laundry jokes?
Because they always come out clean.
What does your mum and Istanbul have in common?
They are all insane comebacks!!!
I ran over three disabled kids.
"Cripple kill."
What was the one word that could have saved Princess Diana's life?
Taxi.
Q: What do you call a shed full of black fellas?
A: Retired Farming Machinery.
What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?
Poutine with Russian dressing!
Why do Nazis not wear necklaces, rings, and bracelets? Because they hate jewelry.
Why was baptism invented?
How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys?
I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.
A war isn’t about who is right, it’s about who is left!
What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. We're gonna make love because I'm stronger than you.
Astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24 hours, so they just called it a "day".
That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of a car and you realize there's somebody inside.
I knocked on Stephen Hawking's door, but nobody answered...
All I got was "error 404 page not found."
How do skeletons have sex?
They bone each other.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
Because his wife died.
Some day, Canada will take over the world. -- And then we'll all be sorry.