Short jokes

What did the blind man fight in the bar?

The coat rack.

what did the banana say to the banana?

"u look a-pealing"

"I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you’re really abusing that privilege."

How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.

Say no to drugs, kids. Suddenly, the poster disappeared. I hallucinated. Must have been the cocaine.

Where do feminists go when they die? "Hell's Kitchen."

I gave a tree a high five, but sadly it left me hanging.

I threw a paralyzed kid into the fireplace and called him hotwheels.

DAD: I'm bringing your toys to the orphanage.

SON: Why?

DAD: You're going to need them.

modern feminism.

What's the hardest thing about being a rapist?

My dick.

Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up, my pillow was gone.

I'm not saying I hate you. I'm just saying that if I could go back in time, I'd give your mom a coat hanger.

What goes Snap, Crackle, and Pop?

A neck.

Why can't a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?

Their focus is always off.

What’s 12 inches and is moist inside?

My record holding cucumbers, locally grown at my farm.

Is it just me, or are magnets really attractive?

I almost had a joke about Parkinson's disease, but I was too shaken up to say it.

Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?

Because they go down so well.

I got the newest Call of Duty game! I got a 200 kill streak, then I went home and played COD.