Short jokes
Astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24 hours, so they just called it a "day".
How do skeletons have sex?
They bone each other.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
Because his wife died.
Some day, Canada will take over the world. -- And then we'll all be sorry.
Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal: "Does he taste funny to you?"
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."
Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.
A guy finds a genie.
He says, "I wish I was better at talking to women."
"Poof!" the genie says, "You're gay!"
School is like a boner. It's long and hard unless you're Asian.
What food does a cheetah eat?
Fast food.
I saw a dwarf scaling down a prison wall. I thought to myself, "That's a little condescending."
Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?
She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.
Two old people sitting on a bench. One turns to the other and says, "My butt fell asleep." The other says, "Yep, I heard it snore a couple of times."
Why is a white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?
The white guy actually did it.
Russia.
Why does Hitler deserve heaven? Because he killed Hitler.
The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself.
So I treat everyone like garbage.
What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs! 😈🥚
My midget landlord told me to pack my things up and that I've got 30 minutes to get out. That's short notice!
How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.