Short jokes
When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.
“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
Why did the feminist fail algebra?
She couldn’t solve inequalities.
John Lennon: "What a nice view."
John walked outside.
He got shot.
:skull:
Fortnite is just like high school. You get off the bus and start shooting everybody.
What kind of music do wind turbines like?
They are big, heavy metal fans!
Why is a wet pavement like playing music?
If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
What do you get when King Kong steps on Batman and Robin?
Flatman and Ribbon.
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.
I was told to burn calories, so I threw your mom in the fire.
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
My son asked me how I'm so clean, "inside out." I told him because of bleach. The next day, I found him drinking the bleach.
So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."
If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?
Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.
Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."
He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.
Be careful around EDP445.
The weirdest thing happened to me today. I was driving 50 mph and hit a speed bump and it screamed!