Short jokes
My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a big forehead, and your hairline recedes too.
Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?
He never learned to mix the colors.
My math teacher keeps telling me to find his x. It's kinda creepy.
Enough with the Nazi jokes.
They make me führeious!
Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.
When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.
“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
Why did the feminist fail algebra?
She couldn’t solve inequalities.
John Lennon: "What a nice view."
John walked outside.
He got shot.
:skull:
Fortnite is just like high school. You get off the bus and start shooting everybody.
What kind of music do wind turbines like?
They are big, heavy metal fans!
Why is a wet pavement like playing music?
If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
What do you get when King Kong steps on Batman and Robin?
Flatman and Ribbon.
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.
I was told to burn calories, so I threw your mom in the fire.
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
My son asked me how I'm so clean, "inside out." I told him because of bleach. The next day, I found him drinking the bleach.