Short jokes
I'm ashamed of some of the jokes I told that mocked disabled people.
So I threw in a couple racist ones to even it out.
What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
The orphan had to earn money because he/she didn't have parents to give him/her an allowance.
Green beans, potato salad with the one that was in the fridge for me.
I'm writing a movie about 9/11. It's called "September 11th Two Thousand Fun."
Why doesn’t the orphan have any toys? Because his Lego figures ran away too.
Whoever says a joke "is not a joke" should go commit bye die.
Yo mama so fat when she stepped on a monster truck she turned it into a lowrider.
Why drink water and not bleach?
Women have so much evil in their blood that God has to drain it once a month. Hehehehehe
What's the difference between your mom and a troll?
Nothing, they both look the same.
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
Me: Have you ever went sky diving?
Friend: No.
Me: Well don't, it sucks.
Friend: Why?
Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.
Why do you want me?
Cus u like me...
What do you mean?
You love me.
No.
Look down.
How to write a joke?
Hey, what are those things on your arms? They look like cuts. Wait, what? No, it's just marker. Nothing else...
What is one question on a tech test you should always ask before getting down?
What in the Robot!?
Why did the child cross the road?
Because he didn’t wear a seatbelt.
Mickey: I want a divorce!
Minney: Are you fricking crazy?
Mickey: No, I'm fricking Daisy!
I got a bowl of rice that you're formed like, an ice cube.