Short jokes
Wanna know why not to joke about 9/11? They usually crash the party.
Why did the serial killer let the guy in a wheelchair go? Because the guy didn’t really have any body for the serial killer to stab.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?
Man, your hairline is so bad it started from the beginning of the month to the end!
Your forehead is so big even ash couldn’t catch it.
Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?
Little Johnny: "Your wife."
What dog can’t see a dog that’s blind?
"It's Sunday evening!"
"No. It's Monday eve."
Down syndrome sucks!
It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.
Why do orphans not have parents?
Answer: Their parents are yeet dead dead.
Oral
If your hairline was a river, it would meander left, right, and backwards.
I am so cool that even the fridge or a snowman would shiver his timbers when they see me :).
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
Why is sex with pandas so much fun?
I don't know, it just is. 🐼
What does Kurt have in common with painters?
They paint walls.
What is the difference between E.T. and an orphan?
E.T. can actually call home.
What is the difference between a microwave and a basket?
The microwave oven does not explode within the set time.
Best way to do it.