Short jokes
Yo mama's so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.
They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:
Thou shalt not f... altar boys.
I'm not sure how I'm going to get to Heaven.
God had not built a ramp yet... or an escalator.
Mufasa is proof that cats don't always land on their feet.
I need to get new shoes; one of these isn’t right.
Where do kittens go on a field trip?
The meowseum.
If there's a guy without legs, he begins to hear boss music when a stack of shelves appear.
Fact: If you jump off a 12-story building, you will not like the result.
Oh, ate the cheese? Urmom.
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence!
I dislike the UK with a great taste.
Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to finish his essay, or the teacher was gonna whoop his fat butt cheeks!
People's music when friends are around: *rock*
When they are gone: "Come on, vamanos, everybody let's go!"
What is stuck between a doorway?
Rebel Wilson.
I hate this website, lol.
What do you call a no "r"-med T-rex?
A T-ex.
Everyone: "Look, it's Superman!"
Me: "No, it's an emo."
Everyone: "Oh."
This is fucked up, my name is Shaylie.
How fast did Little Sally paint the barn red?
As soon as the bomb exploded on her.
What do you call a disabled person drowning?
A boat.