Short jokes
McDonald's sweet chili chicken one.
Why did the man laugh when he only had just one nickel and one penny in his pocket?
He had a 6 cents of humor.
Why do orphans hate hide and seek?
Their parents went to play hide and seek years ago.
Pants!
Brits don't exist. Mummies can't have kids.
Yo mama so fat, when she talks to herself, it’s a long-distance call.
A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.
Who's Paul Walker's close friend?
Tree.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled away and his charger unplugged.
Fuck you and your shitty family!
I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.
What do you get when you add one whole and one whole?
Two holes, dummy!
A hand job from a deaf person counts as oral.
Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.
My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.
Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.
Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.
Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!
When your mom tells you to stop playing on the computer, you say, "Foot you!"
Why do pedophiles never win a race? Because they are always coming in a little behind.
I’m gonna put my AR 15 up your fucking ass and pull the trigger!
Hey, you there, were you raised on a chicken farm? 'Cause you really know how to raise a cock!