Short jokes
"Can we at least give them one credit—for abiding the traffic laws?"
What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.
2+2+67+23= Now calculate the mass of the Solar system. Be these questions these days.
W2S, you stinky, stanky fad. Seeing your disstracks really makes me wanna fap.
What did the plane that crashed on the ground say? Let me crash between those legs, girl!
Sorry, cringy joke.
I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 Victims, they went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
Charlie Chaplin and Tork Poettschke meet.
Chaplin: "What can I do for you?"
Poettschke: "Please get away from me."
Yo mama so fat, when she talks to herself, it’s a long-distance call.
A hand job from a deaf person counts as oral.
A: Guess what kind of men/women do gold diggers like?
Q: One that has a sense of money.
What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years? The letter M.
I saw a lady in a bikini on the beach, so I walked up to her and said, "LET ME STICK MY DICK UP YOUR BIG ASS!"
I want to die to see the other side, but if I die I won't know anybody on the other side.
How do Americans learn the metric system?
9mm at a time. The problem is sometimes it goes straight through their heads.
Ccdddfrtyyhhgfdderrrrtyu.
Why did God create sex for marriage?
Because he wanted more people and less fun.
Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you ;)
What do you call a priest that likes juice?
A Capriest Sun.