Short jokes
Dammit, I hanged off their nose off.
A joke.
God, you're more toxic than white phosphorus.
My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.
I've been drinking from a tall cup.
His teeth look like Twin Towers, Al-Qaeda blown him up.
Did you sit in sugar?
Because you've got a sweet ass.
JFK: Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
I don't call it suicide. I call it population control.
What do nail polish and panties have in common?
Both come off with alcohol.
Me running from the principal because I put ten woman's rights books in the fictional section!
Like if you will sub to Patty Mahomes.
Comment if you will sub to Parker Finch.
So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."
MrBeast: *breathes*
Twitter: 😡🤬
What is the difference between the snow ❄️ and sun 🌞? Snow is slippery, and the other kind 🧒 of weather is not slippery.
I wish I could be as visible as my depression is.
Why do they call matches, matches?
They all look the same.
Bob the builder.
What did the rapper say to his shoes?
"You better lace up!"
Q. What's a 9/11 survivor's least favorite bagel? A. Plain.
Dulux have created a new type of paint. It's called "Sue Grey." It covers up everything.