Short jokes
Why can’t kids at an orphanage play hide and seek?
Because no one’s looking for them.
What do women and pools have in common?
They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.
I've been hit by several things in my life.
Sadly, never a car.
I’ve always been a bit insecure about having thicker thighs.
Now I realize it allows me to fit more scars!
My grandma asked me if I could visit her.
I told her no, I don’t like graveyards.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a big forehead, and your hairline recedes too.
what's another name for cumming inside of a woman?
loading the dishwasher.
Why did the astronaut return to Earth?
She went on her launch break! 🚀🥪😋
Why did the lemon 🍋 go to the doctor 👩⚕️?
Because he had a sour stomach.
Me: I look up to you.
Friend: Wow, thanks!
Me: But in general cuz your so tall.
I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello on the other side.
I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?
I feel bad for shopping carts. They're always being pushed around.
If Iron Man and Quicksilver teamed up,
They would be alloys.
What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeno.
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.
Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?
A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.
Be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means they're recording.
BTW, I am one, wahahaa!
Rizz
Are you a basketball hoop? 'Cause I want to put my balls in you.
Are you a photo biographer? 'Cause I can picture us together.