Short jokes
I hope when you count, you lose the number you were on.
What do a stool and an emo have in common?
They both sit still.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that walks into a fire?
Hot Wheels.
Why can’t orphans build anything?
Because they can’t go to Home Depot.
Why did the fat man miss his flight?
His body weight exceeded the weight limit.
What do you call a riot full of white people?
An avalanche.
The other day my girlfriend asked me to hand her the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.
My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?
She lost her taste.
Someone: Didn’t we already meet somewhere?
Me: Yeah. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.
What do you call a rapper with a cold?
Lil Sneezy.
I'm holding an African themed party tomorrow. There is no food, and the drinks are 10 miles away!
Welcome to politics: You lie to fight and fight to lie.
Anybody can use this :)
Slow and steady wins the race, but it won't fix your ugly face. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
You know Mark once said, "Go away, Freddy, or I'll suck your dick!"
How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?
Shut off his computer.
Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.
Don't break someone's heart because they only have one; instead, break their bones... they have 206.
Nah, bruh, my hairline straighter than a gay person's.
For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.
That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!