Short jokes
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.
Why did the lemon 🍋 go to the doctor 👩⚕️?
Because he had a sour stomach.
What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeno.
If Iron Man and Quicksilver teamed up,
They would be alloys.
I've been hit by several things in my life.
Sadly, never a car.
Why don't black people go on cruises? They're not falling for that one again.
Roses are red, potato chips are savory...
The United States prison system is legalized slavery.
On September 11th, 2001, the New York Giants lost against the Jets.
What do women and pools have in common?
They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.
Why is the Z the only politically correct letter?
Because all the other letters are not Z's.
Why do Asians have squinty eyes?
Because atomic bombs are pretty damn bright.
Why can’t kids at an orphanage play hide and seek?
Because no one’s looking for them.
A woman can fake an orgasm for the sake of a relationship.
A man can fake a relationship for the sake of an orgasm.
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycoxagain.
I'm starting a new charity where homosexuals help the extremely handicapped.
I'm calling it "Fruits and Vegetables".
I was told to burn calories, so I threw your mom in the fire.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a big forehead, and your hairline recedes too.
Jake Paul
Violence against women is funny :)
Hey God, what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.
Sounds like a match made in heaven.