Short jokes
Funny thing happened today, my dad came home from work which is weird cause he’s a suicide bomber.
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
What screams I’m insecure?
You could hold your breath for the rest of your life.
Think about it.
I felt bad for the orphan because he couldn't go on a field trip, you know why?
Parent signature: _________
Ur mama so fat she needs two watches because she's in different time zones.
One day, an orphan bought a boomerang. He threw it, and it didn’t come back.
What does a volcano say when it has a runny nose?
"I have runny volcanoes."
When midgets smoke weed, do they get high or do they get medium?
My friend is an emo. I asked why he wears black. He said, "Black like my soul." I just walked away.
Want to hear a joke? Look at the Miami Dolphins football record.
This is not a joke. Stop online dating.
After all the mudslides in the area, the streets became a mudder out there.
What is the oldest animal in the world?
A zebra—it is black and white.
Your life, that's all.
The Towers wanted pepperoni pizza, but they got planned.
Putin: You came from the West and showered me with gifts.
Trump: And your prostitutes, they showered me with piss.
What's a ghost's favorite food?
I like some boo-ritos!
What did Jake say to Peggy?
"CALC-U-LATOR!" Get it? Like, "Catch you later!"
His hairline is so ugly that Martin Luther King had a dream about it.