Short jokes
Yo mama like a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everybody’s pants.
My classmate, Hailey Legacy.
I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.
The dad finally came back with the milk!
My friend's man has seizures, so guess who won their breakdancing tournament.
Head look like a mf gorilla pop.
Did you hear about the nasty tuna fish?
He was rotten to the albacore.
If Opposition Expunged thought he was an animal, what would Thearchy be called?
Therianarchy!
Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."
Whoever said men will f**k anything that moves is *dead* wrong.
Q: Why was the pilot sad?
A: 'Cause he was bad at playing Jenga. 💀
A bullet is like an arrow.
Nothing can stop it from going through your head.
Hey Sandy.
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
The E and F in Orphan stands for Every one in their Family.
Me: yep they definitely have one 100% 💯
Are multiple choice questions too easy?
A) Yes.
Why did Elsa's dog run away?
Because she let it go!
Who thinks that dogs bark to munch?
What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits.
Why did the kid get grounded? Because he was always lion.
A peanut and another peanut walk into a bar.
One was a salted peanut.