Short jokes
Why do orphans try to be arrested? So that they'll be wanted.
Dad: "I'll be back in a minute."
20 years later
Orphan: "Dad?"
Yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin!
Hi, I'm Adopt, and you guys hurt my feelings. It is not God :(😔😞😔🥺. I'm just a kid. I'm 7.
Orphans get family-sized chips for free.
Being unemployed is like watching our president fall over himself on the stairs.
There’s no hope.
You are so fat, you are fatter than the fattest.
Clarm chin ass bou ducky wack wakaka chuck chuyli bingbong DA sauec.
Q: A guy walks into a bar, what does he say?
A: Ow!
Depression: Here, your mom just died.
Me: My mom is already dead.
Children and your meat are actually quite similar.
At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.
Why does five plus five equal eleven?
Because it's actually six.
I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.
What did the constipated bum say to the other bum?
Piss don't s**t on me!
"You need to cease, all those fat cuz u obese."
How do bees go to school?
They go on a buzzzzzzzzzzz.
What do Michael Vick and John Wick have in common?
Got into deep shit when it came to dogs.
din mamma
Emos are so predictable: sleep, eat, cut, repeat.
Me: What do you want to do for your birthday?
Fiancé: I want to go somewhere I've never been before!
Me: Well welcome to the Kitchen!