Short jokes
money + money = MONEY
What did the lampshade say to the light bulb?
You brighten my day.
Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
Why do orphans love school so much?
They have no HOMEWORK.
Why can't orphans go on an away trip? Because they already are on one.
kapteyn = captain
The plane said to the tower, "You're so cute, I want to come crashing into your arms!"
I had an Alzheimer's joke, but something's fogging up my mind.
If I tell Stephen about these jokes, what is he gonna do? Chase after me? He better run fast!
When do we think the Empire State Building is going to be shot down?
My sis was funny but sad because I have a boy and she doesn't.
What’s an orphan's favorite movie?
Home Alone.
Yo head so freaking small, people thought it was an expired grape.
Why is Lucas so weird? I don't know, you tell me.
What do you call a fat Indian sat on the floor?
A meatball/malteser.
Dear algebra,
I don't want to find your X. I don't know Y she left you.
Why do tables never need wheelchairs? Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
The people in the second tower, "I'm so glad that plane didn't hit our building!"
The second plane, 🗿🗿🗿
Sup?
I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.
But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"