Short jokes
What's a pedophile's favorite type of garden?
A kindergarden.
"Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else."
1+1=3, just add 9 months.
Twin: Hey twin, how's it going?
Twin 2: Weird, twin. Bye.
Twin: Not funny, dude.
Why do orphans have to be homeschooled?
Because they can't be home schooled.
2 7 73 53.
I'll give you time, figure it out.
This name makes me want to close season instead of open it.
What do you call somebody with no nose?
What's a shark's favorite sandwich? Peanut butter and jellyfish!
To make tea, road, road, road, road.
Case.
The space of space, Der der.
The chosen week was chosen.
Object.
Der mezzer lakes.
Lewandowski is so fast because whoever would think of adding an engine to him is a genius!
If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.
Yesterday I was in a wind storm.
Today my ears hurt. I guess the wind was ear-itating.
What’s New York’s favorite game?
2001 flight simulator.
My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.
I told him my dad never came back with it.
"It looks like she went into Claire’s Boutique, fell on a sale rack, and said, ‘I’ll take it!’" — Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul’s Drag Race
Guess why a lot of orphans were in "Home Alone"? Because their family left them.
What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
High definition or addictionary.
Why do disabled people make good golfers?
Because they're always handicapped.
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.