Short jokes
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”
A wife asks her husband: Am I pretty or ugly?
The husband answers her: Pretty.
The wife responds: Thank yo-
The husband interrupts her: Pretty ugly!
Why do orphans hate hide and seek?
Their parents went to play hide and seek years ago.
Q: Did you hear about the Twin Towers?
A: No, what happened?
Q: Apparently, the design was fundamentally floored!
Have you watched the show "Naked and Afraid"? Well, I play it every Saturday with my uncle.
I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.
What did the pencil say to the other pencil?
Your looking sharp!
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
Why couldn't the annoying dog get on Papyrus's nerves?
HE'S A SKELETON. HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY.
China should be a baseball team.
A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.
A: What's the difference between a toilet and a washing basin?
B: I don't know.
A: Then I guess your house looks beautiful...
B: ...
Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.
Your hairline so bad even God says, "Aaaaahhhh!"
"Knock knock."
"Come in."
Fuck you and your shitty family!
My great great grandfather killed Hitler😌
I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.
What do butts say?
"Help me, I'm getting wiped clean!"
When does a kid become an orphan?
When the parents leave.