Short jokes
You're so ugly the densest told you to lay face down.
Why did the dumb blonde take a shower outside of the house while it was raining?
Because the dumb blonde did not pay the water bill!
Why do orphans start fights?
Because they don't get in trouble at home.
When we take a family photo, you are the background.
When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.
Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as "grandpa."
I got you the candy. Haha! You idiot, it's poison!
Two needles go to the river. One of them says, "I'm sorry!"
My balls are so purple that I use them as crayons, and I am not talking about the balls you play with. I am talking about the boy balls.
Q: What kinda bees give milk?
A: Boobees.
Your mum's so fat that when she goes to KFC, they run out of stock of chicken.
Somewhere out there, a tree is tirelessly producing oxygen for BLESSEDBRIAN. I think he owes it an apology.
How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
Stephen Hawking walking, oops, he does not do that anymore.
Your forehead is so big it can't even fit in the garage!
What is the difference between the Leaning Tower of Pisa and the Twin Towers? The Tower of Pisa is more flexible.
Every good joke has its delivery, except abortion jokes, because they have none.
The village people said that they need their idiot back; you better get going!
Did you hear about the gay guy who got kicked off the golf course?
He was playing with too many strokes.