Short jokes
The best football game was the Jets against the Twin Towers.
Children are like pills.
The smaller they are, the easier they are to take.
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."
What relationship status fits an orphan?
Single.
I want a bigger couch.
Why? You're going to be in the kitchen most of the time anyway.
My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire
Why do blind kids like plane crashes?
Because you can’t dislike what you have never seen.
When do we think the Empire State Building is going to be shot down?
4chan
What brakes but never falls, and what falls but never brakes? Answer: Night falls and dawn brakes.
What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.
How did the toilet react when it received a gift?
That was so pot full (thoughtful)!
I can't see the bee.
It's by the beehive.
Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.
When did I wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
Why do emos love jumping in water?
Because it involves a rope.
What is the difference between a black man and Jew?
One was born burnt.
Hi, I did not get it when I went home to walk home from home and walk, walk, walk.
What is magic?
I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.