Short jokes
I was in my guitar class and my strings were dead, and then I realized they were more dead than George Bush on November 30, 2018.
Tyler only has a kid because they don't make condoms the size of Lego Men.
My teacher told me to have a good day. SOOOOOOOOOO I went home :)
My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"
Ahaha, I'm laughing because my friend is so black his mama killed the clown.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The KGB.
The KGB wh-?
*slaps* I will ask the questions here.
Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.
You're so fat that you cause your heart to have panic attacks.
U can vent here idc.
Why did the orphan cry? Because he was an orphan and he watched his parents die.
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the concert?
So he could DEFINE his own beats!
Stick your head up someone's butt. What do you get? A Butthead!
"Get your butt out of my face!"
"Then get your face out of my butt!!!"
What do you say when you see an apple dancing in a talent show? He's got some "sweet" moves!
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
So Steven Hawking walks into a bar...
Just kidding!
Two pedophiles talking to each other:
"Do you got two fives for one ten?"
Want one way to get a free haircut?
Call the cancer hotline.
What's a lesbian's favorite candy?
Licorice.
What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?
Her dad always comes back.
That one person who can never bring a smile to your face...
Until you push them down 3 flights of stairs.