Short jokes
What makes an ISIS joke funny?
The execution.
When the US Army found Chinese soldiers selling secrets to China, they said, "Looks like we have some chinks in our armor."
Why do Asians have squinty eyes?
Because atomic bombs are pretty damn bright.
What do women and pools have in common?
They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.
What do you call a black man on the moon?
An astronaut, you fucking racist.
My grandma asked me if I could visit her.
I told her no, I don’t like graveyards.
Be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means they're recording.
BTW, I am one, wahahaa!
I’ve always been a bit insecure about having thicker thighs.
Now I realize it allows me to fit more scars!
What’s worse than George Bush doing 9/11? Jeffrey Epstein doing nine Elevens.
I've been hit by several things in my life.
Sadly, never a car.
Where do poor Italians live?
The spaghetto.
My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.
what's another name for cumming inside of a woman?
loading the dishwasher.
Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?
A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.
A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The dwarf who couldn’t reach the doorbell.
Do you think midgets start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
Yo mamma is so slutty, she uses a submarine as a dildo because it's long, hard, and filled with seamen.
What kind of bee makes milk?
Boo Bees
My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.