Short jokes
Why do Asians have squinty eyes?
Because atomic bombs are pretty damn bright.
What do women and pools have in common?
They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.
What do you call a black man on the moon?
An astronaut, you fucking racist.
My grandma asked me if I could visit her.
I told her no, I don’t like graveyards.
Be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means they're recording.
BTW, I am one, wahahaa!
I’ve always been a bit insecure about having thicker thighs.
Now I realize it allows me to fit more scars!
What’s worse than George Bush doing 9/11? Jeffrey Epstein doing nine Elevens.
I've been hit by several things in my life.
Sadly, never a car.
Where do poor Italians live?
The spaghetto.
My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.
what's another name for cumming inside of a woman?
loading the dishwasher.
Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?
A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.
A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The dwarf who couldn’t reach the doorbell.
Do you think midgets start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
Yo mamma is so slutty, she uses a submarine as a dildo because it's long, hard, and filled with seamen.
I always enjoy family reunions.
It's always a good time meeting up with my exes.
What kind of bee makes milk?
Boo Bees
My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.
Job Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?
Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.