Short jokes

What’s an abbreviation for school in America?

Shooting range.

Jokes just as dead as the victims.

Why is a white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?

The white guy actually did it.

What animal should wear a wig?

A bald eagle!

Why do you call a man that is physically handicapped and German?

A physically handicapped bisexual man that is promiscuous and German.

What do you call an Indian gymnast? Balance Singh.

Boy: "My girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her..."

Off the nearby cliff.

I walked into the doctor's surgery and he said to me, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." I said, "Capricorn." He said, "Nah, you got cancer."

Why don't midgets use tampons?

Answer: They are always tripping over the string.

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

The wheelchair. 😎

How are giants and strippers alike?

They both grind men's bones to make their bread.

So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my coworkers found gold. I said, "AU, bring that over here!"

I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.

What's the difference between a feminist and Kim Jong Un?

Kim Jong Un has rights.

Your hairline and my grandpa go way back.

If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?

Euro-peein'.

In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually.

Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?

When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.

Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"

What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.

What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.