Short jokes

In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually.

What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair?

RC-XD incoming.

What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?

Suicide squad.

Why are mountains so funny? -- Because they are hill areas.

What is a cow's favorite party game?

Moo-sical chairs!

I'm so gay I could barely think straight.

What rock group has four men that don't sing? -- Mount Rushmore.

Monkey Man's mortuary, you stab 'em, we slab 'em.

How many gay guys can you fit on a bar stool? Four, just flip it over.

Back in Australia, my puns are high koala-tea!

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends how hard you throw them.

Your mama is so fat, One Punch Man had to punch twice.

Last words of the captain of the Titanic... "Where's all this water come from?"

I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.

How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.

In America, planes hit the Twin Towers. In Soviet Russia, Twin Towers hit planes.

What did the doctor say to the Chinese patient? "Sum ting wong."

For all the people with Covid-19, I just want to say... Stay positive.

I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?

All they said was, "Bach, Bach, Bach..."