A Horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards... The steaks were pretty high
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
when Stephen Hawking found out about physics he was speechless.
Where's a cannibals favorite place to eat?
Chilli's. Because they got them baby back ribs.
The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.
Why do women have cleaner minds than men? -- Because they change theirs more often.
Why don't North Koreans like jazz music?
Because they don't have Seoul.
why did helen keller wear skin tight pants?
so you could read her lips
Doctor: You're as healthy as a horse! Jimmy: That's great! Doctor: A horse with cancer.
When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.
Women should be allowed to leave the kitchen......to clean the rest of the house
Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? -- To keep his ankles warm.
How do you help a constipated person?
U scare the shit out of them
What do you get when you throw a baby into the wheat thresher?
An erection.
I'm better than you in every single way.... I even have an extra chromosome.
I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks. -- I didn't want to interrupt her.
Q:what's the hardest thing about losing your virginity A:making sure she doesn't wake up
Why did lil Susie fall off the swing? She didn’t have any arms. Knock knock, Who’s there? Not lil Susie
