Short jokes
What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?
Poutine with Russian dressing!
What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.
Why do depressed people go to camp? To learn how to tie knots tighter.
Are you Wi-Fi? Because I think I am finding a connection.
What starts with M and ends with carriage?
This joke never gets old, but then again neither does the baby.
Why does the adopted kid like playing GTA? Because he wants to be wanted.
Why can’t the employee tell dirty laundry jokes?
Because they always come out clean.
What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Sunday was a sad day, but yesterday was a sadder day.
I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.
A war isn’t about who is right, it’s about who is left!
Q. How does a feminist stop a rapist?
A. By using her equal strength.
What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant.
Astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24 hours, so they just called it a "day".
That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of a car and you realize there's somebody inside.
Ever wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?
They made the toys.
I knocked on Stephen Hawking's door, but nobody answered...
All I got was "error 404 page not found."
How do skeletons have sex?
They bone each other.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
Because his wife died.
Some day, Canada will take over the world. -- And then we'll all be sorry.