Short jokes
Why did the stairs move?
Because it was up to something!
When Helen Keller drives a car, people call her Asian.
My father, who flew the plane, couldn't have a funeral, he went everywhere.
What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?
One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
How does an emo greet people?
“What’s down?”
TikTok
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barber-queue.
Does money grow on trees? No.
What is money made of? Paper.
What is paper made out of? Trees!
You're so ugly, that's why me and your hairline go far back.
A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.
First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.
Waiter says, "Sir, we ran out of ranch, so I had the boys in the back improvise. But don't worry... It has even more zip & twang to it!"
Hi.
Hi hi hug hi huh hi hi.
Why does Blake like lakes? Because of cake!
You get a deep voice, you shit talk to 5 year olds.
A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”
Why can’t orphans go on school trips?
Parent's signature: _________
I give bubblegum to the homeless so they can chew it and still be hungry.
Penis when sussy; bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bud buh dum boo dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum bfrhgtjkg buygubukbjkuhkbjub. AMOGUS (sus).
Why is a waiter good at math?
Because he knows his TABLES! 🤣