Short jokes
Well, a lock and a key were going on vacation, but the key said, "Help me, I'm stuck!" and then the lock said, "I think I am in lock-shary."
What is the worst player in basketball? LeBron James.
It was my cousin's birthday and my mom said what should we get her? I said a rope.
Mommy, Mommy! Are we werewolves?
Shut up and comb your face.
Why am I in jail? Because I wasn't invited to the party in the orphanage 23 days ago. Stupid fucks.
Why is willb103 so funny?!!
Because he made the joke home page!!!
Boys eat Frito Bandito, but men eat Guido Bandito.
Stephen Hawking was a spac. But if you put an E on the end, you get space, and he loved that.
Life's a bitch, and then you die. I now see what they mean.
Being gay must be a pain in the ass.
Credit to omnom.
What do you call a group of kangaroos? Gangaroos.
People say towers can't move. Apparently, nobody told that to the Trade Centers.
Why is an orphan into worshiping Satan?
'Cause they get to call someone "master" and be freaky.
A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.
The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? His left shoulder.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite robot? Him as his shoulder/wheelchair.
I saw some kids bullying a kid in a wheelchair. I grabbed the kid, pushed him down the stairs, and said, "GTA physics."
On a winter day many play.
Some with snow, and I with ice Used as a device to slice Somehow I'm colder now.
What do you call a disabled person that can walk?
Enabled.
Your mom is so ugly that even Medusa turned to stone from looking at her!
You are so fat that when you go out to check your letterbox, it measures 8 on the Richter scale.