Short jokes

Short jokes

Orphan

Why do orphans never use other people's Wi-Fi?

So they can be connected.

Adoption

My mom said, "Why did I adopt you?"

I said, "Because the other three were mistakes."

Gun

What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.

Life

Wanna know why people laugh at you? Because your life is a joke.

Jesus

When did Jesus die?

On Luan Day hahahahahahahahahahahahaha LOUD HOUSE wink wink.

Milk

Dad: Son, I came back.

Son: Where is the milk?

Dad: Time for another 10 years.

Orphan

Why are orphans running around the world after the baseball coach said, "Go home"?

Because he didn’t know what the hell to do.

Ex

When you have an ex, you will notice that the word "ex" is short for "executed," so that's there for yous.

Girl

I scanned an emo girl's arm the other day. Now I own her, only 3.99 with tax. That's a steal and a half, woopeeee!

Sex

Haven't had sex since I got out of jail; although sex in jail wasn't that great, either.

Toy

Did you hear they’re making an Elmo toy to appeal to the Tourette’s crowd?

I believe it’s called the “Tic Me Elmo.”

Dad

Your dad left you because he went for milk.

*1,000,000 years later*

Her: Dad come back!

Him: FBI open up!