Short jokes
What happens when you suck?
You succ.
I lost all faith in humanity. I am moving to Uranus; it's really big. I might get lost.
Eed?
Hi, how are you today?
When she says she wrestles, so you pull out your dick and she punches it.
Why do orphans not play sport?
Because they need parents' permission.
What is the difference between a school bus and a baseball?
You can throw a baseball, and you can’t throw a school bus.
What's an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.
Why can't the toilet paper be cheeky?
It's between cheeks at the moment.
Armless child: Can you give me a hand??
Me: Ok.
You can't put an orphan on house arrest if there isn't a house to arrest them to.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.
Why does Oscar Field have no friends? Because he spends time on his fields.
rat gaagah?
Me: I know how to use a microwave!
Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!
Why did the fire not burn the kid? Because it had no lips.
Why did Mr. Peanut die?
His cane snapped!
What do screen doors and blondes have in common?
The more you bang them, the looser they get.
Me: Says to kid at adoption center, "You're adopted!"
Me and kid: hug.
Thought this site needed a little bit of nice jokes.
What did one astronaut say to the other astronaut after landing on the Moon?
"Ah! And people thought we were moons!"