Short jokes
Why did the failed abortion climb up the woman’s leg?
It was homesick.
If people who live in Canada are Canadians, I mean if they drink Fanta, they’re fantastic.
I call my girlfriend .05 because she's a bag I blow into when I've had a few drinks.
Look at your left hand, now look at your right hand, and tell yourself, "Which hand do you cheat with?"
Wanking.
"Nahtzee"
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost WiFi connection.
Ehhhhhhhh.
What do you get when you cross a cat and a dinosaur? A cat-astrophe!
A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."
So my mom said, "Did you do your homework?" Well, I say yes, and in the hour, I yelled, "This is fake, not real!" 😅😅😅
Is your fridge running?
Why yes, it is!
Then you better go catch it!
What's the first thing that a battered woman does when she gets out of the shelter?
My last if she knows what's good for her.
Yo mama is soooooo fat that she was arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack!
No one. Beyoncé said "To the left, to the left!" She really meant women have no rights.
Why did Hitler lose the war?
Because Göring ate every last airplane, tank, artillery, ship, and ammunition!
Ever heard of rape jokes?
No?
Well, I'll MAKE you hear 'em!
Want to hear a racist joke?
Donald Trump.
I go to the shop and buy 2 pints of kimo.
I go balls deep in your mum with no power.
Watched a really cool cartoon about rabbits with Down syndrome yesterday. You should try watching it on catch up... "Watership Down."