Short jokes
I hate it when I accidentally eat out my dog, lol.
I saw some toilet paper rolls rolling in the wind.
So I called, "Toilet Papers Rolling In!"
Julius's wife always stands behind him. Therefore, whenever he looks in the mirror, he sees her (Caesar).
Why did Marx never drink Earl Grey?
Because proper tea is theft.
When I go to bed, my mother comes in ten minutes later with a brick and beats me with it.
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed a politician in the jungle yesterday?
I hear it hurt like hell.
What do [you] call Tyler Brown?
A spaz.
There once was a commie called Ed. Usually known as Ned. He went to bed, Got shot in the head, Unfortunately now he was dead.
How do you clean ash off a stove with chemicals?
Why is calculus called calc? Because you need a calculator. Lol.
Why did the cow go to space?
To get ice cream!
What is it called when a cow sings? A lawsuit.
"Can I tell you a paper joke?" I said, "But it is pretty terrible."
This is funny.
No, you!
Girl: You are gay.
Boy: Who says I’m gay?
Girl: You ARE GAY!
Boy: You are lesbian.
Crowd: OhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhbhbhhhbhH
All germs are from GERMany.
I told my doctor I was experiencing some back pain. He told me to smoke some weed because I had chronic back pain.
A Mexican opens a pharmacy in CA. What’s he selling?
Drugs.
Why is Sean's fashion so poor? He's retarded!