Short jokes
When your girlfriend tells you she's a guy: "What, bitch? Naw, hell no!"
When you accidentally choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that it's your sister so who gives a f**k?
Jack and Jill went up the hill, both had Bacardi rum. When Jill's was gone, she wanted Jack's, that's why she took it from him.
Okay, the joke's over. Bring back Trump!
I thought of telling my teachers that I am transgender so I get to wear my AirPods in class.
You have more chins than a Hong Kong telephone book!
"9/11 was just a really intense game of Jenga."
Face-Timing My Girlfriend:
"Hey girl! Are you a veterinarian? Because these puppies are sick!" *shows muscle*
What do you call a person with one arm, one leg, one eye, and one ear?
ONESY.
“Hey dad, how do you kill a star?” - Give them drugs.
Men, get into the kitchen and make me a sandwich!
Women, go chop some lumber!
White people, get back into the cotton fields!
What do u call a girl that runs faster than her brothers?
A redneck virgin!
You're dead inside.
(Stabs him 23 times)
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
Cuddle with you.🙂
I needed a test on if I'm pregnant. Then the doc said, "Take your pants down." Then he put his penis in my vagina and said, "Now you are pregnant."
Why do mountains go to sleep a lot?
Because they are high.
What’s the similarity between a penis and a lollipop?
Kids can take both.
What did your mom get for Christmas?
A big black horse dildo.
Why did the Indian cross the road?
To get to the curry shop.
How do Asians name their kids? They drop spoons and forks down the stairs. Chin Chan Chon.