Short jokes
rat gaagah?
Why did the fire not burn the kid? Because it had no lips.
Q: How to hit an orphan?
A: Hit them with a family tree.
Why did Mr. Peanut die?
His cane snapped!
What do screen doors and blondes have in common?
The more you bang them, the looser they get.
Dad: What's the difference between an ELEPHANT and a POSTBOX?
Son: I don't know.
Dad: I'd better not trust you with my post then.
Why are chickens so awesome? Because... Chicken noise.
What do you call butter without an expiration date?
A miracle butter, because wow!
Stick your head up someone's butt. What do you get? A Butthead!
"Get your butt out of my face!"
"Then get your face out of my butt!!!"
You get a deep voice, you shit talk to 5 year olds.
What did the orphan's mom say to him when he got into trouble?
Nothing, because he doesn't know his parents...
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fishes.
Fishes who?
Fishes the police, come out with your hands up!
What did the dumb kid call ratios?
A type of cereal.
Teacher: Go through the ABCs in pre-school.
Me: Hey, teacher, omae wa mou shindeiru!
Teacher: NANI!?!?
Why can’t you yell at a kid?
Because the cops are after you.
Las Vegas has a new 550-foot-tall Ferris wheel, hoping to gain tourists.
What’s already gaining “tourists”? Whores.
Why are sex toys something to stuff in your asshole and not a big racecar?
If you believe in Allah, you will go straight to heaven, Mashallah! 😍
Hey guys, I use toilet paper.
How do you saw an apple with no mouth?
A P P L E