Short jokes
We are gonna crush you in the try not to laugh.
Blonde: Can I suck you off? (has STDs on mouth)
Me: Naw (drake turn/dab)
How do you plan a party in space? You have to planet.
Knock knock. Hwoo's there? Far from home. Hwoo's far from home? Spider-Man.
My friend talking to fat boi: "I can order you at McDonald's: Double Big Mac, triple quarter pounder cheeseburger."
Why was the baseball player stuck in the stadium?
'Cause he made his home run.
I had to get my dog. Is it a tree? Was your time and I had fun today after dinner. I had...
How do you know when German people break into your house? When you can not find your bed.
Q: What did the Iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
What name is easy to say in Spanish?
Marissa!
Why are baby elephants so smart? They hang out with friends!
What is mail? Boring.
We saved a Swiss flag from a house fire. I thought that's a plus.
What is your summer name? Hot.
Science gets you to the moon.
Religion flies you into buildings.
One little orphan had roast beef, the other had none.
One little orphan went to market, the other stayed home. Wait a second.
How can you tell an Asian guy is awake?
You can never tell.
Does chocolate milk come from black cows?
If you have an Autistic child, don't worry. Put your trust in God and pray it gets kidnapped.
9/11 was pretty great to me, it's just hilarious to watch people lose at Jenga.