Short jokes

Short Jokes

Orphan

Why can't orphans tell jokes?

They have no one to tell them to, people.

Abortion clinic

Hello, welcome to Joe’s Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I help you today?

Orphanage

Me: (Jaiden) Why are you crying? Do you know where your parents are?

Orphan: *Sobs* "No."

God, I love working at an orphanage!

Name

How do Chinese parents name their children?

Dropping a pan down the stairs. Bing, Bong, Dong.

Orphan

What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?

One you cut into 2 with a knife.

And the watermelon you cut into pieces.

Impostor

When your cousin who has a lisp died from the impostor in Among Us,

"THE IMPASTA KILLED MEH!"

Mom

Me: Mom, we made a cake.

Bully: Guess what?

Me: What?

Bully: Nobody cares!

Me: Yeah, nobody cares about you!

Orphan

How do you get an orphan sad?

You say you will tell their mom that they have been a baaaaaad boy.

Jesus

Why did Jesus not win any Stanley Cups? Because he was cut from the team because he kept being pinned to the boards.

Orphan

What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"

Woman

What's the difference between a rock and a woman?

The flat ones get skipped.

Hen

What did the swearing hen say?

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" (It's cluck.)

What did the cussing rooster say?

"Cock-a-doodle-doo, phew!"

Misfortune

Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.