Short jokes
What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour?
A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck.
Your mum is so fat, she gets hit by a parked car!
Yeah, not too bad at all, really.
What do Chinese people order: noodles in bed with some fried cat?
The reason why Steven H. died was that someone poisoned his chocolate mousse.
We were at a restaurant today, and my dad was talking about a place called Sea Ranch.
I asked, "What do they raise there? Sea horses?"
What's between a wife and a husband?
A divorce.
I was going to walk to Verizon, but I decided to Sprint over to T-Mobile instead.
A blind person walks into a bar.
Because they can’t see where they are going.
Did you hear about the cannibal that came home late?
His wife gave him the cold shoulder.
What was the movie about the dog called?
The woof of Wall Street.
Dad: 🦆
Kid: ?
Dad: 🦆🦆
Kid: Huh?
Dad: Ur too late...
Kid: WHAT!
Dad: .... GOOSE!
Are you a lightbulb, cuz you brighten up my day?
Build a man a fire, he will be warm for a day. Give him some Tfox merch, and he will be on fire.
Tiresome is the quantification of tire.
What can you tell [is] the difference between Stephen Hawking and a carrot?
Nothing.
Booooooooooooo!
What do you call a grey, fat, and very old unicorn?
A rhino.
I went outside to catch some dog, but I mist.
Why could the zombie not clap? Because it was dead, duh!