Short jokes
An Asian walked up to another Asian that was crying.
He asked, "Is somting wong?"
The other guy says, "I was i a noh paking zon."
What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the Wi-Fi password.
What is an orphan's role model?
Batman.
Why did the stairs move?
Because it was up to something!
So, I went up to an emo and I said, "Why did you steal my bar code from my chips?"
Where was your mom last night? In the man club?
Yo forehead is so big, Albert Einstein couldn’t figure out the measurement of it!
What do you call grass that grows in space?
Astro-turf.
Why did the qack go duck?
I don't know, rhydon deez. 4x2=8
Best friend makes joke about 9/11.
Me: My pop was a part of that!
Best friend: So sorry!
Me: My pop was the pilot of the plane, he flew through 89 floors.
Yo, hairline is as accurate as my jump shot.
What did all the humans say when all the pets left town?
A doggone catastrophe!
Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?
Little Johnny: "Your wife."
You know the Twin Towers employees were supposed to meet a good football team. Instead, they just met the Jets.
What did Nemo say to the emo?
"Be careful, you can't Nemo your way out of emo."
One thing you can ask Mario:
"Can you jump up and down for me?"
What do Gay Men and Minorities have in common?
My dad hates them both!
If my son was a real man, I wouldn't have caught him fucking another man.
How does Stephen Hawking have sex?
Enter, backspace. Enter, backspace.