Short jokes
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
......
Do you think when the Secret Service heard the gunshot they were like, "Donald Duck"?
Your mom's been giving me attitude lately, so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did, it caused me to lose 4 inches.
Roses are red, Violets are ugly.
Violet thought she was ugly until she saw you!
Why did the rapper become a beekeeper?
Because he wanted to make some HONEY FLOWS.
Know your ABCs! Assholes, bitches, and cocaine!
Where does bad light end up at?
In prism.
You know how Joe Biden is happy?
When he is rubbing a little girls' shoulders and eating ice cream.
My cousin really loves baseball.
He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.
Your mom is so ugly that she uses Snapchat filters to make her pretty.
Why did the rapper go broke?
He kept dropping dimes.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit the idiot.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
The chicken who?
*Silence*
Animals are just... so hot!
My brother truly is a numbskull.
You give some people 2.54 centimeters, and they take 1.6 kilometers.
I don't want to date an alien.
Why are fish not sleeping? 'Cause the bed is wet.
What did the cookie say when he jumped off the cliff? Crumbs, ha ha!
Sans: Hey Frisk, why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Frisk: Why didn't he go to the dance?
Sans: 'Cause he had no body to dance with!
Did you hear about the astronaut that stepped in gum and got stuck?
He got stuck in orbit! Hehhehe.