Short jokes
"Yo mama's so fat that when she farts, Al Gore accuses her of global warming."
Inflation is so bad, McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
"What did the zero say to the eight?"
"That belt looks good on you!"
Where do fruits go on vacation?
"Pear-is!"
97 percent of women...
Friend 1: *turns off lights*
Friend 2: *is there with us*
Me: Woah! Where did friend 2 go?!
Your mom is so ugly that she made a mirror shatter.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
......
Do you think when the Secret Service heard the gunshot they were like, "Donald Duck"?
Your mom's been giving me attitude lately, so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did, it caused me to lose 4 inches.
Roses are red, Violets are ugly.
Violet thought she was ugly until she saw you!
Why did the rapper become a beekeeper?
Because he wanted to make some HONEY FLOWS.
Know your ABCs! Assholes, bitches, and cocaine!
Where does bad light end up at?
In prism.
You know how Joe Biden is happy?
When he is rubbing a little girls' shoulders and eating ice cream.
My cousin really loves baseball.
He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.
Your mom is so ugly that she uses Snapchat filters to make her pretty.
Why did the rapper go broke?
He kept dropping dimes.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit the idiot.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
The chicken who?
*Silence*
Animals are just... so hot!