If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.
Short Jokes
Santa said my mom was good... But she is on the naughty list.
"Bippity Boppity Boo, Donald Trump is gonna deport you!"
What's the difference between broccoli & boogers?
People don't eat their broccoli.
BOB: Wanna know a joke?
LILLY: What? Your hat?
BOB: No, my life :'(
Why does Adam buy airsoft guns, you might ask?
To defend himself against his own father... his life must be shit.
The deaf man said to the waiter:
"Mmmm."
The waiter said, "No English."
Then the deaf man signed, "F U."
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson? Cause it's a family company.
A girl said, "Suck my dick," and the man went, "I have boobs."
You are the joke.
How do you finger a feminist? Shake her hand and call her Theresa.
The world's funniest joke? Your life.
What's black, white, and red?
A nun that fell down an elevator shaft.
Your family.
"Meow, meow, I'm a cow," I said.
"Meow, meow, I'm a cow."
A cop pulls over an old man.
The cop walks up to the old man and says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
The old man said, "No."
What's better than throwing up a stillborn?
Making your wife eat it again.
Where did the cake sleep on the stove?
In a pan.
God.
When I masturbate, things cum.
When an old man does, no one cums.