Short jokes
My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot for Pakistan.
Why does Little Johnny hate hot dogs?
It reminds him of last night.
I breathe in African food.
I really wanna hit you right now, but that would be animal abuse.
Why is a ball rolling when you put it on a hill?
Because it is circle.
What's white, yellow and goes 40 mph?
A train driver's egg sandwich.
When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.
Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.
What’s the difference between my mom and the Twin Towers?
My mom got hit by two cars. The Twin Towers got hit by two planes.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he got bummed too hard in the shower.
Your mother is so fat, she doesn’t need...
Your hairline is so big, not even a black hole can eat it!
Yo mama is so fat that when she jumps, the earth was shaking!
What has 15 arms, 9 legs, 8 heads, and 12 eyeballs?
A mosque after a missile strike.
Tesco's slogan is "Every little helps."
Well, their bag did a wonderful job on suffocating my wife.
What did Omnicron say to Delta?
"Same race, bud, different evolution."
"SIX FEET AWAY, OMNI! SIX FEET AWAY!"
How did Jenson lose against a Cheetah?
Because he was a cheetah!
My balls are so purple that I use them as crayons, and I am not talking about the balls you play with. I am talking about the boy balls.
Q: How do you deliver an autistic baby?
A: A clothes hanger.
Why do gay people get bad grades?
Because they don't get straight A's.
Me being raped is like my birth certificate; it doesn't expire.