Short jokes
Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.
"I don't want to go on my at-home history."
- My friend, anon 2019.
Why can't blondes make ice?
They forgot the recipe.
Evan David Sandri is gay and he is adopted.
Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?
Because he was too stuffed.
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.
What do you call a bear with no ears? A b.
Yeah, that joke was unbearable.
What did the boyfriend say to his girlfriend?
Why did the camel cross the road?
Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass.
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"John."
"John who?"
John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively worse.
Two rabbits were racing. Neither could get ahead, so they ended in a hare-tie!
The only reason he died was because Virgin Media wifi crashed.
Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain’t a chef!
The toilet having an argument with the toilet paper, the owner of the house had diarrhea, who's day was more shittier!?
A farmer has 3 fat ugly cows. One is named Xia. The next is named Chiang. What's the third?
Yu.
Q: Why couldn't the queer wist eating his hot dog?
A: Because it tasted like shit.
I have a friend named Mole.
She plays a game called "sandbox" to dig up dirt...
What happens when a sink on the Titanic overflows?
It sinks it.
We saved a transvestite in a tight mini skirt from a tree.
I thought I showed a lot of balls.
The butt quack one.