Short jokes
Professor Poopypants!!!
Dad goat: Son, do you know what I like to eat?
Son goat: No, what?
Dad goat: Goat meat.
Son goat: *Gasps*
Dad goat: Nah, I'm just KIDing.
NASA equals nugget and sh*t, amateur.
That's a knee slapper, or should I say, a wheel slapper?
Well, yo mama is fat, and when she loses weight, all the food that she has is hers, but the Africans get none.
I'm the autism.
Stop making jokes about Kobe.
What do you call a retarded Catholic?
Asperges.
Owo
Why did the man walk into a bar?
Because he just broke up and he needs alcohol, you dummy!
I wanted some breakfast, so I grabbed some Life cereal.
I poured it, but lemons came out. So I said, "Well, when life gives you lemons!"
I've done a ton of work today.
A SKELE-ton of work!
Me and my cousin went to a restaurant yesterday.
I ordered my chicken fried, he ordered his chicken alive.
What do you call a girl with no legs? Sarah.
What do you call an Olympic gold medalist skiing? Not Sarah.
I help suicidal people.
BTW verb not adjective.
What do you call a fat midget?
A pig.
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
Damn, this computer stopped working. It's got autism.
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Penis enters my dad and sister.
Greg is a pedo.