Short jokes
The butt quack one.
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"John."
"John who?"
John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively worse.
Where did the chef put the disease?
In Ebola.
When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!
There were 32 cows. Twenty-eight chickens. How many were there?
There were 32 cows. Twenty ate chickens. How many were there?
If your butt hurts real bad, put some vapor rub and booty cream on it so it can heal back to normal.
Are you having rabbit and duck for dinner?
Yeah.
Why?
Because I got too obsessed with hares.
Spongebob: Easy now, you try first. Get a jar.
Patrick: *picks up nuke*
Spongebob: Patrick, that's a nuke!
Patrick: Yes.
Nuke: *boom*
When the guy asks the girl if she's wet, she replies, "Yeah, milky knickers!"
What does an Asian call a penis? A wong.
What does an Asian do with its legs? It wok.
I said to my wife that she's so ugly that she threw a boomerang and it never came back.
What did the man say to his wife, wanna play?
Why did the Russian cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Why do mummies have trouble making friends?
What does the Titanic sell most?
Icebreakers.
What do you call a clown that is allergic to strawberries?
...Ollie the clown!
What does the orphan have in common with Batman? They both lost their parents.
Uranus has a lot of poop. Yeah. That is my joke.
If this is offensive to anyone, I'm sorry! Hey, wanna see something funny? Go look in your mirror!
HOLY CRAP!!!
Crap with holes in it.
Get it? HOLE - Y?