Short jokes
Take it in the ear day? More like take it in the rear day.
мy naмe ιѕ jeғғ.
What did the people who cracked the Liberty Bell get for breaking it?
The no-bell prize.
What does a human and a cat have in common? Both take my bed.
Q: Why doesn't a skeleton mother drink water?
A: Because it gives her more work!
I love my family when they're buried alive.
Why was the whale sad?
Because he is blue!
What is God's favorite planet?
Saturn because it has a ring around it.
What does the Peanut Butter Baby say?
"Ah!"
What's the difference between the microphone and Bambi?
One is a Welsh idea, the other's a well shy deer.
Max Alexander Heart is adopted.
"Hi, my name is Robert. I have no life. Even my PS4 username is gay lil_bama."
What did Harry Houdini say when he did his famous vanishing act at a sushi place?
"Now sashimi, now you don't!"
What’s heavy, black, and can’t swim?
Ted Kennedy’s Oldsmobile Delmont 88 with Mary Jo Kopechne trapped inside.
Why does the sun get a lot of girls? Because it's hot.
Two pencils walking down the street.
Which one hasn’t got AIDS?
The one with the rubber on.
Balalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala!
What's 12 inches long and begins with a p?
A shit.
What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people?
"What's up?"
God better hope they got an elevator to Heaven.