Short jokes
The holy water in this church is of the highest quality: it has been assed by the bishop.
Ice cold coffee? Cool beans!
Q: What did the sign say on the whore house?
A: Beat it, we're closed.
Why do people name a kid "Rob?" Because they want him to rob a bank so they could adopt new kids to lock in their basement for a late-night toy.
Have you ever eaten a clock before? I heard it’s very time consuming.
Your mum's so fat that when she goes to KFC, they run out of stock of chicken.
Son: Hey dad, why is my name Canada?
Dad: Because you were made there.
Mum: We haven't been to Canada.
Dad: Hol' up a minute.
Kenny's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I gave him a thumb and forefinger job.
Haha, you're gay!
I'll slit your throat and kick you in the gut till you die one time.
You’ll parsley believe how many puns I have. Hopefully your funny-bone isn’t broken because these are real rib-ticklers.
First Man: My dog's got no nose.
Second Man: How does he smell?
First Man: Awful.
Knock knock? Who's there? Kanga. Kanga who? Not kangawho, kangaroo!
It’s so sad how Stephen Hawking was just rolling too far away from the outlet. RIP :(
Drawned.
If I had a dollar for every time someone did something stupid,
I would have approximately 7.8 Billion dollars.
The exam is knocking at my door... so I ran away from the window.
When someone pops up in your life making you all happy, you be like, "Who sent you?"
Here's a joke... you.
Was he under insurance claim?