Short jokes
What did Nemo say to the emo?
"Be careful, you can't Nemo your way out of emo."
One thing you can ask Mario:
"Can you jump up and down for me?"
I wish my ex-wife would take me back. :(
What do Gay Men and Minorities have in common?
My dad hates them both!
Why did my dad bring a bomb vest to fit in with his Taliban brothers?
Instead of Obama, it was supposed to be Osama. Pretending I got their names mixed up.
Best friend makes joke about 9/11.
Me: My pop was a part of that!
Best friend: So sorry!
Me: My pop was the pilot of the plane, he flew through 89 floors.
When you’re in India and you start hearing a tick, tick, tick, tick, you run!
Roses are red, my pencil is blunt.
A parrot trapped on a roof keeps telling the fire crew to f*ck off!
Go to community, I'm bored.
Dog.
I asked my dad what his previous job was. He said: "I was a post until I met your mother."
What's the single worst terrestrial species? Humans, obviously.
Why does Batman only wear black?
Because he's emo!
That's wheely (really) sad.
Uranus is blue.
How does a cow introduce his wife?
Meet Patty.
What made his beats so bad?
His name.
Teacher: "Stand up, class!"
She is sitting down.
Teacher: "Whoever stands up is stupid!"
Q. What's the difference between people and a toilet?
A. Neither does R. Kelly.