"Have you ever heard of the snail that never gives charity?"
"Yeah, he is so shellfish!"
Short Jokes
Hi, Charlie, is your friend?
I got my sister a trampoline for her birthday, but she won’t get out of her wheelchair and use it.
Video game company names always make me make puns I didn't intend to.
Canada.
What's the difference between a pool and a toddler?
One doesn't scream when you go in dry ;)
What is the difference between a puppy and a fork?
I don’t microwave forks.
Roses are red, you have a nice lip, it would look better if it was on my tit.
Putin be like, Finland and Sweden are bullying me with NATO, the same NATO that can't even reload a gun! Russians are pussies!
I have one policy, and that is to not make fun of black people.
Sorry, Jesus. You were white in the Bible pictures.
What do you get when you kill a brown chicken and brown cow?
Dead chicken and dead cow.
My dad said I should look if I could move a log. Well, he had to go get milk.
What do sea turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
Hey, look, it's that "TRAINS gender" guy. He says, "I like trains." Uh oh!
Me: 911, I just killed someone.
Cops: Cool, we will not come.
Me: Why?
Cops: Don't admit a crime.
Phones: *Bang Bang*
Me: Well, that was 2 crimes done.
Jesus was a carpenter who got nailed to a piece of wood.
Where is the pocket?
It is there, the pocket.
Stop saying "cheetah cheater" jokes. They suck!
How do you have sex? You take off your clothes and shove your dick in the girl's pussy. If girl suck his dick.
When I was on the Titanic, I got broken.