Short jokes
My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"
Impossible? I’m very possible, really!
Why is Sonic so fat? He eats too many chili dogs.
What do you call a bad bitch? You call them stupid bitches.
What does a rain cloud wear under her dress?
Thunderwear.
Which two football teams played in the pirate Superbowl?
The Seahawks and the Buccaneers.
Have you heard about the tanning Olympics?
Everyone wanted bronze! (This is a lil cringe.)
My dog got stuck in my ass, help!
What is a cow's favorite dance move?
The milkshake.
Ice cold coffee? Cool beans!
Water to his Dad, Steam: Hi, Dad, I mist you!
Steam: double-you(w). aich(h). ay(a). tee(t)?
What did one mountain say to the other? Nice to peak you!
Why did the Orphan have imaginary parents?
Because his last parents existed.
Children are so ungrateful nowadays. I got my daughter a bike, but now she’s crying on the floor saying, “I don’t have legs!”
My fish puns aren't on porpoise.
What's yellow and smells of Marge? Homer Simpson's fingers!
He said he didn't want to be my brother anymore.
He's now my sister.
I'm at the circus, Noah O'Brien.
What do you call a bloody pig?
HAMorrhage!
What always roars, but cannot talk? What always moves, but cannot walk?
A waterfall.