Short jokes
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What does a blowjob from an 80-year-old and bungee jumps have in common?
You feel the rush, but don't look down.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Abajo.
Abajo who?
I have abajo of water with me.
The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.
The reason he died is that they accidentally flipped the wrong light switch.
What do my baby and dinosaurs have in common? They are both dead.
All these oranges, but you're still the one for me.
I'm hertophobic.
It means I'm allergic to straights.
What is 1 + 1?
They didn’t tell me. Their stomach is upset.
Why do seagulls not fly over the bay?
Because if they did, they'd be bay gulls.
Why couldn't the kid with Down syndrome play football?
Because he got all the downs.
Roses are black, violets are black.
I’m colorblind.
What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.
But if you're vegan, you call him food.
If you're poor, you eat the skin.
What did the mustard say to the ketchup at the race?
I wish I was blind.
What hype is this place out? Is it for the night? You cannot say what is a great night. I have a good night.
You're so fat, Thanos had to snap three times to destroy you.
What's small, brown and crispy?
A baby in an oven.
What was purple and conquered the world?
Alexander The Grape.
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.