Short jokes
I have a friend who's a suicide bomber. He's a blast at parties.
What's the difference between a child and a cancer diagnosis? At least the cancer grows up and leaves eventually.
What do you call a Japanese car thief?
Tommy took a motor.
Yo bro, look at this twig I found on the floor. Wait...
What do you call a cow that wasn't meant to be born? A mi-steak!
It is September. What's the difference between a stage four colon cancer patient and Santa Claus? Santa is coming for Christmas!
Kobe: "Don't crash!"
Helicopter: *Crashes*
Why can’t orphans go to jail? Because they aren’t wanted.
When I was doing ju jitsu at my neighbor's cat, I accidentally created a whirlpool and then ate a mango mustard bar.
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.
What's a saying you shouldn't tell an epileptic?
Seize your moment.
Putin is so obsessed with territorial expansion, he’s even trying to annex your mama’s bedroom.
How many racist jokes am I allowed to make?
None.
Because I don't make jokes.
What does Joker say when someone gets angry at him for not liking oats?
"Hey, why so cereal?"
I have the superpower to predict the past.
"My love, I missed you."
"Aww, I missed you too."
"I did not miss *that* time!"
Q. What's a compulsive masturbator's favourite food?
A. Jackfruit
Your gene pool is more like a gene puddle.
I forgot to tell Alicia I saw her mom a couple days ago.
In a porn video!
Yo momma so slutty, she won't even be offended by this joke.