Short jokes
Where do depressed people go to eat?
Suicide Sonic.
Why is it wrong to put a beef or turkey patty in a burger?
'Cause it's a ham-burger, isn't it?
Did the leaf or the emo fall out of the tree? The leaf won. The rope stopped the emo.
Dwarf: pulls down the flap for the mirror.
Also dwarf: can’t see.
Brother: Your nuts!
Sister: What do you mean? You're the one that has the nuts!
Q: What do you call brown mixed with yellow?
A: Someone who just ate beans.
Dad: What do you call a crazy creeper?
Mom: Shit, I don't know...
Kid: Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Dad: That's my boy's!!!
Your mom's like a candy machine; she pops out for anybody.
The first time I EVER HAD SEX I WAS ALL ALONE. You know why?
IT WAS DARK and I WAS ALL ALONE!
Why was the tamale in the hospital? Because he was a "tamalito."
What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?
Fresh roadkill.
I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!
choi soobin loml
When the guy asks the girl if she's wet, she replies, "Yeah, milky knickers!"
What phone do midgets use?
A MICROphone.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Condensed.
Condensed who?
Condensed milk.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To die on the other side.
Apple
Apple
Apple
Apple
Apple
Orange you glad I didn't say apple again?
An orphan was in 1st grade, and its teacher said to spell "parrot." The boy spelled "Parents."
Kid: Dad, what happened to the kidnapper?
Dad: He had a nap.
Kid: Where is he now?
Dad: HELL!