Short jokes
For Stephen Hawking, why is being drunk and having his power shut out the same?
He blacks out.
All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea...
Well, he doesn't walk up, he swims up.
Well, actually, the mollusk isn't moving, he's in one place.
And then the sea cucumber, well, they... I mixed up.
There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that...
There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks.
So just then, the sea cucumber looks over to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"
I fucc mi brother.
Tilted Towers is gone.
Let's not make any more Indian jokes. All your jokes are trash. Please stop.
when the sus.
You know you're high when you hold all your pineapples hostage and yell, "SpongeBob, I know you're in there!"
I broke up with my ex girlfriend. Here's her number.
Sike, that's the wrong number!
ooooooooooooooooooooo
The lettuce and tomato were in a race. The lettuce was a head and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
What was the epileptic chef’s house special?
Seizure salad.
Why does Trump build a wall?
There’s such a thing as a ladder.
I'm straighter than a rainbow.
French fries don't come from France; they come from Greece.
What kind of knight puts dumb jokes on the internet?
You!
Today; worst day ever.
My annoying sibling got hit by a train, and I lost my job as a conductor.
I like my women like I like my eggs.
Beaten against a table until her insides come out.
Why is Uranus so big? Because you discovered it.
What's harder than taking a shit?
Trying to take a shit while constipated!
Q. What do you get if you put hot water down a rabbit hole?
A. Hot cross bunnies!
I bet you love prostate exams because you live things up your ass.