Short jokes

Short jokes

Beef

Why is it wrong to put a beef or turkey patty in a burger?

'Cause it's a ham-burger, isn't it?

Bean

Q: What do you call brown mixed with yellow?

A: Someone who just ate beans.

Orphan

Why are half of the orphans blind? Because they can't find their parents.

Rabbit

Where can a male and female rabbit make love at? The rabbit house or the rabbit hole?

Candy

Boy: "Mister, can I get candy?"

Mister: No, you shit head.

Boy: Why? :(

Mister: Because I'm not your dad.

Kidnapper

Kid: Dad, what happened to the kidnapper?

Dad: He had a nap.

Kid: Where is he now?

Dad: HELL!

Bus Driver

I gave up my seat to blind lady because she couldn't find any--let's just say I lost my job as a bus driver.

Cliff

Why did the cliff feel offended?

Because George jumped OFF. ENDED his life.

(I'm sorry... No, I'm not!)

Bathroom

I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!

Guy

When the guy asks the girl if she's wet, she replies, "Yeah, milky knickers!"

Milk

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Condensed.

Condensed who?

Condensed milk.