Short jokes
Why was Stephen Hawking late to the NASA meeting?
He couldn't get up the kerb.
Lettuce ketchup.
What is it called when a gay guy punches someone?
Fruit punch.
NONCE
Have you ever met a knight with a metanite at night?
He's in a wheelchair.
How did the Java programmer's son get rich?
Because of inheritance.
What do you call a dictatorial cow?
Moosilini.
Why did the orange start blushing?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
What’s the difference between a mushroom and a tree?
One's a fucking tree.
Q: How many more chemo treatments did the cancer patient need?
A: Tumor.
How do people in Alabama get circumcised? You knee your sister's jaw...
What do you call a crying dick?
I call it a crying dick.
Do you know your E?
You're E tarded.
Why do nuns go around in pairs?
So one nun makes sure the other nun doesn't get none!
What was Pepe's best friend? Ballsack.
Batman vs Superman?
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
Why do people always talk about 9/11, but seriously, just let it sit there, like the rubble it is.
We have life. I hope we have life. We have God in Jesus Christ. This is a good thing. It is a song part.