Short jokes
I'm Gay.
What is saw and bleeding and covered in bruises?
Your mum.
What has 2 wheels and screams? A disabled [person] I dropkicked down the stairs.
Anyone else think High School Musical would have been a better film with a school shooter?
Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?
Computers don’t really have a specific religion.
What do you call lesbians having sex?
My cheating dyke ex-wife!
What happens when Stephen Hawking wakes up from his sleep?
"Log in."
My sister Wani is a dwarf, so I sit on her as a chair.
"How do celebrities stay cool?"
"They have many fans!"
What did Stephen Hawking say when trying to talk to a reporter? Beep boop beep beep boop.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What do Hiroshima and Nagasaki share in common with balls?
They both drop.
Why can't an orphan role-play Star Wars?
Because they have no one to play Darth Vader.
I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."
I was naughty at school and my teacher said she's going to tell my dad. I was like, "Who's that?"
What does a Chinese do when you throw an apple at him? Ka-ching!
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they never get a full house.
Where can a male and female rabbit make love at? The rabbit house or the rabbit hole?
What do you get when a dinosaur farts?
A blast from the past!
Did the leaf or the emo fall out of the tree? The leaf won. The rope stopped the emo.