Short jokes
If I wanted to hear beeping, I wouldn’t have pulled my grandma’s cord to live.
Why did the Titanic sink?
Because the people aboard are stupid.
The only thing colder than Siberia is my girlfriend's ex!
Your mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, it only got rid of weight.
I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.
What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?
"Nunya business!"
Hairline so big people had to time travel to find the end of it.
What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.
Last week I went on a whale watch.
After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.
It was really heavy on me.
Magitat?
"Buy a man an airplane ticket, he will fly once. Throw a man off an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life."
- Sun Tzu
Say "I hate happiness" without the H (all of them).
You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.
Someone I know is an ant. I feel like a mountain to them.
asdf.
What is the name of Hitler's WiFi?
The local Aryan network.
You know what I told my little brother plane?
What do you say to an upset German?
Quit being such a sauerkraut!
Hey, Britain, no queen? :(