Short jokes
Where is the building I was in, and why is there a plane?
I just got my COVID vaccine, and this lady said, "You have no idea what you put in your body." I said, "Yet you are eating chorizo."
Ever wondered why Usain Bolt runs fast? He's training to outrun the cops.
Osama bin Laden
Got like 2,997 kills, damn, that's a new record!
Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"
Numb Butt Wheelchair Club: No Feeling, No Problem!
I left my Avatar at home today.
Why is Jonnyy baiiiiii sad? Because he no shower pero.
I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.
What did the parent say to M.J.?
"Get off my kid!"
Why couldn't people have their phone on airplane mode during 9/11?
Because their phone exploded the towers.
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
Idaho... Alaska!
Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?
To the I.C.U.
Bro has to get a fringe to cover up the big, increasing hairline.
Don't listen.
What do they call Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson's son? The Pebble.
"This is the dude who assassinated JFK."
"If you got a question, just shoot!"
150,000$
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
Roses are red, violets are not lime, if you turn around, I will fist you anytime.