Short jokes
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts!
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
Do you like my a-corn-y jokes?
Why is Dawayne so small? Because his parents cut him up into small slices!
Why in Alabama people don't use doggy style... Cuz you don't turn your back to your family.
New Windex ad:
You should get Windex for that dirty mind!
Knock, knock? Who's there? A mirror, I'm lonely.
I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."
When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*
My best opinion: when life goes to hell, you just go down with it.
Do you know the teacher that went up in space? She had blew eyes. One blew this way and one blew that way.
"Ugly kid, I feel ugly."
"Me? You don't have feel ugly, you already ugly."
Mom, start eating, or else you will get fatter!
Mommy is a YouTuber, she can never spend time with me.