Short jokes
What did the mad penis say to the vagina? “Don’t make me come in there!”
What's an orphan's least favorite T.V. show?
Family Guy.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they have no Father's or Mother's days.
I'm so good at talking to myself but not to others.
Why are people born in December, January, and February easy to get along with?
They're cool and chill.
Do you ever look at someone and think, "You must have been conceived at a family reunion"?
Old McDonald cuts himself. E-m E-m-O!
What's Osama bin Laden's favorite football team? New York Jets!!!
Why was 10 scared? Because of 9/11.
Q. What do Canadian women and Canadian beer have in common? A. They're both stronger than they look.
You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.
And an exorcism.
My Son: "Mummy, why is my name Thomas?"
Me: "Because the night you were conceived, I had a train run on me."
You know how 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9?
Well, how do you think 10 feels being in the middle of 9 11?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Utah.
Utah who?
You're talking to me.
Man, I didn't know they put Humpty Dumpty back together!
Ryurhg.
Ferb is older than Phineas because his last line.
Ferb: "I’m boutta blow this sh*t!"
Why are most politicians in the closet or gay?
Because all they can do is mandate.
What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? (Dam!)
Bleach!