Short jokes
What do you get when you cross a pig with a cactus? A porkupine!
What 16 stoner rode a Derby winner?
Lester Piggott's.
How do astronauts have a party?
They planet.
That's caketasic!
Yo mama so fat, when she got ran over, the van did a 360 flip to Mars!
Yo momma so fat, I asked her to save me a seat, so she sat down and she saved 10, and one by one the legs started popping off.
When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time... and walk past.
Roberto: Judd, your DNA looks like the infinite symbol.
Judd: Roberto, your DNA looks like a pasta noodle.
Your mom is so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!
1: Hey.
2: What?
1: We're outta paint.
2: *HMM*
(And that's how stop signs have extra paint.)
What do you call Scooby Doo with a blunt in his mouth? Scooby Dooby.
Speak to your dad before I put my hand up your ass!
What do you call a movie about an orphan?
The Bat Man.
Why did the ducks go to jail?
They sold quack.
Let's rock and roll!
"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite food?
His left shoulder.
lolo.
Me: What do you want to do for your birthday?
Fiancé: I want to go somewhere I've never been before!
Me: Well welcome to the Kitchen!