Short jokes
Your hairline's so far back, even Rosa Parks refused to sit in the back; it went all the way there itself.
On September 11, Gemini ordered three pepperoni pizzas.
One came alone, one was late, and the third went the wrong way.
I'm the type to blow up half of my house to kill a spider... and still miss.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and orphans?
The parents remember 9/11.
If someone says 67 one more time, I'll say 9/11 and swoop right under their feet like the Twin Towers.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked at least.
What is Mexicans' favorite sport?
Cross-country.
My therapist said, "Time heals all wounds," so I cut her.
What do you call a retarded Mexican?
Ricardo.
“Which tool,” Andrea Bocelli asks Chris Doemges, “fits best in the mailbox?”
Doemges: “Probably the flathead screwdriver!”
I keep hearing "Obesity kills."
My only question is "Why is it taking so long?"
Tork Poettschke says to Charles Bukowski: "You have beautiful teeth! Are they also available in white?"
Charlie Chaplin and Tork Poettschke meet.
Chaplin: "What can I do for you?"
Poettschke: "Please get away from me."
In England, for every church, there are two pubs.
In Poland, for every pub, there are two churches.
What is the favorite movie of orphans?
Spider-Man: Homecoming.
Why was 10 afraid?
Because he was in the middle of 9 and 11.
Your momma is so slutty, they hired her as a condom tester.
My brother was stuck in a wheelchair after a motorbike accident. He became a swimming champion until I took the VR headset off.
Why are priests so bad at racing? They are always in the 'little behind'.
America's police phone number is 911 because that is the day they lost everything.