Short jokes
Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.
My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!
My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.
My wife is so fat, I took her to the Macy's Day parade. They attached ropes to her.
My wife is so fat. She buys her clothes at Tent & Awning!
Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?
He only took a day off.
"Do you want to hear a joke?"
"Yes."
"Okay, record yourself and then listen to it!"
I heard helium won the lottery. Turns out, he lied.
Kobe is a legend and is nothing to joke about. Wait till you crash and burn!
Your hairline is so far back that it dated back to 13 BC.
You was reaching into you’re backpack and the whole class jumped through the window.
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
Why are vampires always sick?
Because they are coffin.
One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...
Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I need your peach, and I'll torture you with a speech.
When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.
Boy, your forehead so big, I can make a launchpad on that shit!
What the when what yeah what yeah then uh huh?
What do you call a very long bowl?
Manute Bowl.