Short jokes
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter's dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?
He became a shell of who he once was.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
Your secret is safe with me. I walnut tell a soul.
You pecan do it!
What is sticky, but it cannot stick a stick?
When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)
Start a RATIO chain.
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
Ugly kid, people keep saying I'm ugly.
Me: They're certainly not wrong.
787 bowing.
What can't a Desert Eagle and Barrett do for stealth missions?
They can't be way too loud.
What do a tank and a warship have in common?
They're overweight.
Why did a school shooter get banned from a game server?
He was caught aimbotting.
What did Hermione say when she pantsed someone?
"Wow, Harry!"
Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet?
It was afraid of the nutcracker.
Why can’t a blind person be a teacher? Because they can’t control their pupils.
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.