Short jokes

Everything.

When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."

How do goldfish know when to eat?

They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.

Why is the pizza place busy? Because it’s pizza day! 😂

"Pizza place, pizza place, are you there?"

"You're ass heck bye."

Twin: Hey twin, how's it going?

Twin 2: Weird, twin. Bye.

Twin: Not funny, dude.

"I see, I see." "Oh, do you see?" "I see 1st place looking at me." "Hi, don’t be shy, just say hi." She was shy, she didn’t say hi. Softball cheers.

Plane versus plane. Who wins? Plane.

How does Stephen Hawking get clean?

He uses Tesco car wash.

Some babies may be delivered via stork, but some bigger babies are gonna need a crane.

I don't usually like to tell 9/11 jokes for two reasons: they're morally wrong, and they tend to crash and burn.

I searched up hornets and then said that it will leave a sting.

I carried a magnet, then people found me very attracting.

Din mor ligner en banan. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.

Whenever you think back to 9/11 and realize there are 12 hours in front of us, why the f*ck didn't they warn us?

I air.

Apex Legends: exists.

Titanfall fandom: (Literally on fire and at war with itself) "Everything is fine."

Bender.

"Out of the way, I need to Caterpie."