Short jokes
I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."
I heard a motivational quote saying faith can move mountains, but faith cannot move your receding hairline.
Champagne
You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."
What does Stephen Hawking put his food in? A microwave.
Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?
Orphan: I don't know what you mean.
Me: There is no one to give a present.
Biden did 9/10.
My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!
One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂
Your hairline is so far back that it made every country on earth disappear.
Pro lifers: End abortion!!!
Pro lifers after school shooting: But not this abortion.
What did the eagle say to Obama?
He said: "Joe Mama!"
Her Name was Lola. She was a loner. At the Copa I saw her And I just wanted to bone her!
What dessert do you get on September 11th?
An ice cream flight!
Why is Jenna Marbles so funny? She lost all her marbles.
Your hairline is so deep people can see what you're thinking.
Texas is such a shitty state. There’s a reason it only has one star.
What's an orphan's favorite flower?
A self-raising flower.
I asked my French mate if he had a games console. He said, "Oui!"
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.