Short jokes
Your forehead is so big it takes 3-4 business days.
Yo hairline so ugly, when you go to school you fall on a line.
Why do people play basketball?
Because they want to learn how to suck balls.
I hate school. I mean, why can't you pull out a 12 gauge and shoot everyone, including the teachers?! This generation is too soft, man.
@M3GAN fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfucufkcucufkcuckfucufkcufcfufkcufkcuckfucufkf you
My wife is so fat! When she goes swimming, she leaves a ring around the lake.
My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.
My wife is the only person that has "missing" posters attached to her ass.
My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!
I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.
What did the orphan say to the barber?
I dunno, the orphanage doesn’t pay for haircuts.
Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?
Because they have to pay for road tax.
My favorite book is "Brown Spots on the Ceiling" by Ho Fung Poo.
Imagine you ask a girl out in braille.
And she leaves you on felt.
But when?
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.
What did the customer ask when he went to the cannibal restaurant?
"Who's the special today?"
My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?
Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.
I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.