Short jokes
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cabbage.
Cabbage who?
Cabbage doesn’t have a last name.
I have returned. Anyways, what do you call it when you're actually in Panera Bread, being in Panera Bread?
What did the shell say to the shell?
"Shell you later."
Once, asked if I played Scrabble, being dyslexic, I asked if it was the standard version or the deluxe dyslexic version.
My middle name is Brian. I was so proud of being able to spell my full name till someone pointed out "Johnny Brain Walker" was incorrect.
Repeat after me: shut up; shut up; I don’t shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What went through the heads of the people on the 142nd floor during 9/11?
The 143rd floor.
Osama Bin Laden thrown in ocean!
People who helped with the Twin Towers destruction: ...
Ryurhg.
What do you call a red potato?
A tomato. 🍅
(I know it's cringe!)
The last time your hairline connected was when George Washington was born.
69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.
Why do men get great ideas in bed?
'Cause they are plugged into a genius!
The short kid came earlier than I thought. Guess he came with such short notice.
Why is England's team unfair in chess?
Because 2 rooks = 10 and a queen = 9.
What's the difference between you and a calendar?
Calendars got dates.
Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!
Osama bin Laden
Got like 2,997 kills, damn, that's a new record!
Numb Butt Wheelchair Club: No Feeling, No Problem!
No matter how hard I try, I will never be a stand-up comedian.