Short jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Terrier.
Terrier who?
Your Halloween decorations are terri-fying!
Knock, knock? Who's there? A mirror, I'm lonely.
I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."
When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*
My best opinion: when life goes to hell, you just go down with it.
When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
Ugly kid, people keep saying I'm ugly.
Me: They're certainly not wrong.
Mom, start eating, or else you will get fatter!
Why can't homeless people buy a house?
'Cause they live on the streets.
What are the similarities of an orphan and a water fountain?
They both sprout water.
Guy on Fortnite: "Ima sleep with your mom lmao."
Orphan: Starts crying.
Peanuts are hard to crack, just like my ex-wife's heart.
She's so fat that when she steps onto a wood floor, the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.
If I fantasize about fucking a UCP Cabinet Minister,
Does that mean I'm sexually Conservative?
Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the squad?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
What’s the last balloon George Floyd blew up? His heroin balloon.
Nutty.
Are you a rope? Let's hang out by a tree and drink :)
Why the "hell" is this here?