Short jokes
I had to take the underground just to get from your forehead to your hairline, they're so far apart!!!
This year the London marathon was run on your hairline. It was so far back no one could complete it!
What is the difference between you and a calendar?
A calendar has dates.
What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.
Why does Mao Zedong like the east coast?
Because there is a red Sun in the sky.
Your mom is so fat, she looks like she ate the marshmallow from Ghostbusters.
Confucius say: "Gay man who take far, far away trip, hates to leave friends behind."
What did Jupiter say to Uranus? Hey, I can see your Uranus from here!
Please don't make a joke about me; I'm just a human.
This town ain't big enough for the one of you.
I bet when you take a bath, they give you the whole pool. No, better yet, the ocean!
I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂
You're so fat, when you jumped, the whole planet wiggled.
Roblox jokes be like: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I should create a game.
*Creates game* bruh my game got to thousand hundred 700,000 likes!
😄😄😄
Your mum is so ugly, she tried to join an ugly competition. They said, "Sorry, no professionals."
I told my emo girlfriend, "Do you like the lights?" Oh wait, she ain't got any.
Zis iz za best joke in za west: exsepz if zu put ketup in shawarma itz yo mama!
Mate, my wife Susan has kicked me out again, anyone got a lift?
What do you call a chubby Robert Pattinson? The Fatman.
Why did the plane go to KFC?
To lose its wings and crash!