Short jokes
Your hairline and your forehead must have a lot in common because they go waaaaaaaayyy back!
Your forehead is so big that it's a 20 dollar taxi ride from your eyebrow to your hairline.
What do chicken on a plancha and emos have in common?
They both are hung.
What do girls and your hairline have in common? They are both receding.
I'd rate the pilot a 9/11.
Tell me a joke about my hairline.
No, because he don't got one, feel like Donald Trump, it don't move.
Champagne
How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?
Shut off his computer.
Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?
Orphan: I don't know what you mean.
Me: There is no one to give a present.
Why do women need a pay rise? Isn't the glass ceiling high enough?
I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!
Why are the towers working out? They have big thighs!
Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.
Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!
"Ryan, come out to play-ee-ay!!"
Texas be like everything is bigger here: guns and winter storms!
Your mom's so fat, she annexed Crimea!
What did the Deagle say to the G17?
"Son, you're rushing, but in some way, I like it."
Why did your father go away?
'Cause he needs da milk.
How does a donkey open a door?
With a don-key.