Short jokes
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
Why can’t a blind person be a teacher? Because they can’t control their pupils.
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts!
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?
He was paid peanuts.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Walnut. Walnut who? I walnut tell you. It’s a secret.
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?
He became a shell of who he once was.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
Your secret is safe with me. I walnut tell a soul.
You must be rich! You've got all the cashews.
You pecan do it!
What is sticky, but it cannot stick a stick?
Why would you shoot up an innocent school... if your aimbot's dead and you can't commit headshots only?