Short jokes
Man yelling at mailman realizes he's opening the mailbox.
Mailman: "There's a pipe bomb in your mailbox..."
I have a rooster farm because I love small cocks.
October 1, 2017 is when the Mandalay Bay became the Mandalay spray. Thank Steve for that.
I traveled through time to get my dad back.
I failed because I was 1e21 years off.
I work at a movie studio.
Unfortunately, the team I was working with was useless.
The team:
I was doing some karate the other day at the studio.
They kicked me out because I was doing “kungi fui.”
My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.
Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.
One time I was playing a bongo at a Chinese restaurant.
But they were competing against a Cuban restaurant and killed me.
I'm about to cum!
What do you call a deer with no ear?
One ear.
What is an old lady's favorite exercise?
Trying to get up from the soft couch.
Your eyebrows turned into little butterflies and flew away!
If I measured your forehead, it would be 100,000,000,000,000,000 miles long.
If your hairline was a river, it would meander left, right, and backwards.
Caution: Looking at your hairline can cause you to be delirious and have hallucinations.
Health and safety tips: Looking at your hairline is hazardous. For your best interest, please look away.
What is the difference between you and a calendar?
A calendar has dates.
What does Mammot like on a woman’s body?
Bum bum bummmm buuummmmm bummm.
The death of JFK must have splattered on the news.
What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.