Short jokes

Short jokes

Pianist

1st person: What do you call a blind pianist?

2nd person: What?

1st person: A pianist.

Pedophile

What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?

Oh wait, I am because she's 10.

Adoption

What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river?

Moses hits the adoption lottery!

Elephant

Why did the elephant get kicked out of the public pool?

Because he kept on dropping his trunks! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Poop

Squirrel: I got a joke.

Dog: What the hell is it?

Squirrel: I clicked my nuts and clicked my poop.

Base

The coach yelled at me when I stole home. I ran home with the base and asked him where to put it.

Pigeon

Pigeons can be annoying at times, especially when their bones get stuck in-between your teeth.

Plane

Jerry: My dad got into a fight on a plane.

Jeremy: That's just *plane* crazy!

Pandemic

The bright side of this pandemic is now both my hands look equally chapped and raw.

Fat

You're so fat you're the reason they made tread "meals".

You're so ugly we can't have neighbors.

Toaster

Just got a new internet connected toaster. It wouldn't work until I enabled pop-ups!