Short jokes
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
khi beats his meat to weed- germiah.
"You can drink drinks, but you can't food foods."
-Sun Tzu, The Art Of Food
"You cannot win a war without a war."
-Sun Tzu, *The Art Of War*
Kid singing “abcd.”
Person says, “No, no, it’s obcd.”
Once I got one so big, they were going to make 9/11 2.0!
Hey, let’s go, we are heading for the Towers!
Wait, what?
Call 911!
Where can you find the most dads?
Milk Island.
Your hairline is like Mount Everest; it points.
You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!
Mom: Do I look fat in my dress?
Child: Nah... you look fat in every dress!
Yo, forehead reflects projectiles just like the shield in Strike Force Heroes.
When creating the world, Jesus made the water salty. A person comes up to the water, drinks it, and says: "Why are you so salty?"
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
I left my boots on in the river, and I drowned.
You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.
What's full of lard and is reserved as Putin's cannon fodder?
Your mum!!!
"Dinosaur killing with a 2x4, no more purple dinosaur!"
How fast does 173 move?
Breakneck speeds!
Your hairline is so big, it distracts me from your face.