Short jokes
I read a sign. What it meant to say is, "You matter, don't give up." What I read was, "You don't matter, give up."
Your hairline is like a lollipop because every time someone licks it, it gets shorter.
My dad came out of my step-sister's room as I came out of my step-mum's room.
What are emo kids' least favorite lollies?
Life Savers.
What does “JETS” stand for?
Jihadis Eradicating The Skyscrapers.
There hasn’t been 3 months of peace in this country since 2019. Jesus, take the wheel.
A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”
What did Spiderman say on September 11th, 2001?
"Look out, Here comes the Spiderman!"
God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:
God: No, I don’t want to.
What's an emo's favorite way of growing food?
The slash and burn tactic.
Why didn’t the train kill nine families of four?
Because he had no loco-MOTIVE. AHAHAH
What does the EPA issue when a person stinks up a room with their smelly farts?
Air quality alert code brown!
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.
How many East Asians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Tu.
AI - AI - Rabo several projects:
Decker: “No Hebingingennanorin and Chirver.”
Alx: “Madam Bob Lee Hubn Vera 20”
Are you interested in it?
More than two boot branches.
It insists upon itself, Lois, it insists upon itself.
Speak in AAVE, Mr. Bear...
If a lawyer gives birth to a stillborn baby, is it considered a miscarriage of justice?
Why did the rapper take the bus to the studio?
Because their car ran out of RHYME.