Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
Short Jokes
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Your secret is safe with me. I walnut tell a soul.
Funni.
You are like my girlfriend: imaginary and non-existent.
What do Rubik's cubes and melons have in common?
They have a history of separating colors.
What is more used than plastic?
Hookers.
My gardener found a dead body. Of the old gardener!
Why was the barber mad because I gave him a buzzcut?
The tortoise was swimming through the lake. His head got stuck in plastic. He said, "Oh dam."
Yo mama so fat...
That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!
Why do women need a pay rise? Isn't the glass ceiling high enough?
Why are the towers working out? They have big thighs!
My grandfather is a great fisherman, especially at baiting a rod.
I guess you could call him the Master Baiter.
I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Terrier.
Terrier who?
Your Halloween decorations are terri-fying!
Knock, knock? Who's there? A mirror, I'm lonely.
When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
