Short jokes
Why did the drum go to bed? It was beat.
Have you ever had a bad sausage? It's the wurst.
What should you do to prevent dry skin? Use a towel.
I wanted to take a bath, but decided to leave it where it is.
What should you do if you meet a giant? Use big words.
Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.
What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!
Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!
Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.
What kind of flour do orphans use to make bread?
Self-raising.
What is an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
"Adopt Me."
Person: "How many people have you had intercourse with?"
Me: "Nun."
Who needs parents to be great?
Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!
Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.
I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"
Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."
People in Africa have earth, fire, air, but never water.
ememe
I gave Helen Keller an Oculus and AirPods for her 12th birthday, and she hated them and me.
What's the difference between an abortion and a baby girl in China? Nothing, they both die.
Teacher: "Do you guys want to get in trouble?"
Kid named Teacher: *