Short jokes
What’s the bravest thing a man can do?
Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Of a bad internet connection.
Who wants to fight!? Hate?! And pick on each other through the comments.
ANYONE?
What world record did the people in 9/11 get?
The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.
Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?
Thing 2: I don't know, what?
Thing 1: One gets hard faster.
What’s better than Ted Danson?
Ted singing and Danson!
This mute kid was getting made fun of. I told him to speak up for himself.
Why do tryhards use Fennecs? It looks better than the Octane.
How do pirates like their movies?
You already know the answer, don't you?
Well...
ARRR rated! Huh huh huh...
Why do orphans love church?
They finally have a father.
Your teeth are sponsored by gap.
Did you hear about the gay Indian who died?
He was a brave sucker.
Your mama so fat that when you were born, yo mama gave you carpet burn.
Unpopular opinion about programming but,
"Uncaught TypeError: Cannot read property 'myUnpopularOpinion' of undefined."
Why can't you have a tall dog? You will have pups in a week.
What did Satin say to God??
"Bitch, what the fuck you looking at?"
What's the artist imagine something?
Imagine Dragons!
Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why are the English so good at chess? Because their Queen never dies.
How to Make an Orphan cry
Step 1: Talk about Home.
Step 2: Ask them where their parents are.
Step 3: Say, "Bye Bye," and push them in the Batmobile!