Short jokes

Why was the pregnant cow mad all the time? It wasn’t in for the moo-d.

I have the funniest joke ever, here it is...

Your face!

No, "quarter quarter."

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite snake?

Microchips.

I'll remember my last words... "Sorry, I'm not sorry!"

What do dogs drink? Pupsi.

Why can’t you run in a campground?

Because it’s past tents.

The QUEEN took a shit at the poker table. It was a ROYAL FLUSH.

Hey John, how are you going?

Helium, yeah good, what about you?

(Hey Liam)

What's Stephen Hawking called on fire?

Hot Wheels :)

To you, Iron Man may seem cool or awesome, but to me, he is pretty ironic.

I would tell you a story of my dad... If I knew who he was.

When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.

Who is better than Alabama?

CLEMSON TIGERS!

Stephen's not dead; his WiFi is slow.

I left a chunk of ice outside during summer. That was the first time I heard icescream.

How does a skeleton kill a bug?

They SOCKET!

I sat down to eat some ice cream. The next moment, I screamed!

This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?

Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!

Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"